Friday, November 30, 2012

1st Gym Time in.....a long time

I read somewhere that working out helps to combat the debilitating nausea that can come in the first trimester. I truly believed it to be a myth, but so far I've been proven wrong twice. The first was while we were up at Trapp and decided to do the 6.2 round trip hike to the cabin. The second was last night.

I've been telling myself for weeks that I need to get my pregnant ass to the gym 3-5 days a week.

a. To help combat the not so fabulous eating I've done lately. Thanks to the nausea.
b. So that I won't over gain in the next 9 months.
c. Stay stretched out and limber which will hopefully help with the birth.

So last night, as I slowly pulled myself up out of my work chair, I grabbed my gym bag and put on some work out clothes. I find changing at work forces me to get to the gym. If I just hop in my car, from pulling out of my parking spot, to getting to the main road, it's possible I'll convince myself to just go home.

I got to the gym and was oddly awake. Did a solid hour on the treadmill with random hills. Only moved at 3.2 to keep my heart below 140. Never got breathless, and drank almost 20 oz of water. After which, I did some light stretching and some ab exercises. Nothing strenuous, but enough to feel it.

As I headed home, I realized how awake I really was. I ate some dinner, eggs and  bagel to be exact and watched some tv. Knowing my feet were frozen and not warming up not matter how hard I tried, I drew myself a warm bath. (Don't worry, it was around 100 degrees, like I was told was okay.) Let myself warm up, then drained the water and got out. Curled up on the sofa, read some of my book (Bleed For Me).

Hubby came home about 30 mins later and we watched this week's Dexter & Walking Dead. At which time I passed out for about 30 mins at the end. We headed up to bed around 11:30, and now I was wide awake. Took about a half hour to fall back to sleep. Then awoke at 5am, like usual. Bladder full. Somehow I managed to roll back over a sleep a little longer.

Today has been a long, dragging day. I can't not wait to crawl back into bed.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

Just a few things....

At yesterday's meeting, the nurse practitioner had asked if I was having any nausea or vomiting  I quickly replied that I thankfully haven't vomited, and that most of my nausea seems to be subsiding.

Boy was I wrong.

I woke up this morning, from a somewhat restful slumber, to a completely empty stomach. Growling and gurgling  I probably should have eaten immediately. Instead I jumped right into the shower. Continued to hack up a lung phlegm that seems to be plaguing me most days now. So much so that when I finally got in my car to head to work, still starving, I attempted to spit some phlegm out. Which ended up being a full out gag session and spitting on the side of my car. Awesome.

Every morning, I have my Vega One shake with frozen berries, banana and coconut milk. Usually it tastes scrumptious. Today, I took a sip and gagged. Thankfully I used a straw to down the shake, and managed to by pass my taste buds and get some of it in my stomach.

While sitting at my desk, I continued to suck down half the shake, until I couldn't take it anymore, and gave up. You win this round nausea.

Around 10am, I was starving again. But my usual Snap Pea Crisps and Red Pepper Hummus, was not sounding appetizing. So I switched out the Snap Peas for some Saltines. Managed to get down 1 cracker and hummus every 5 mins or so.

At noon time, I was hungry, but nothing sounded appetizing. But pizza. Thankfully there's a brick oven place 5 mins from work. Where I proceeded to go. And somehow I ended up ordering a cheese and crust only pizza. Which at first was not what I wanted. But after biting into it, I was super glad it didn't have sauce. Pretty sure that wouldn't have gone over well.

As I went up to pay for my pizza, I noticed some delicious homemade chocolate chip cookies calling my name. Mmmmm, cookies and peppermint tea.....perfect afternoon snack.

And while I have you here.....

I'm starting to believe that pregnant women should not be allowed to work full time. This whole making another human being thing is exhausting, and really is a full time job all on it's own. We should at least be able to work part time.

And what's with the US being so far behind on maternity leave laws?! Some countries offer a full PAID YEAR off. A whole damn year. Come America, step it up! 6 weeks at 60% salary is not a maternity leave. It's just plain insulting. (And the only reason I get a paid maternity leave, is because my work is kind enough to offer Short Term Disability plan.)

Oh yes, I'm sorry, I forgot our government is run by old men who probably still believe that it's the 50's and moms stay at home with their children and bake all day. My bad.

In lighter news, the Chinese Birthday Calendar says we'll be having a boy. And their apparently 90% accurate. We'll see about that China.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

7 Week US

I was feeling really calm today. Until I got in the car to drive to RSC for our US. It had nothing to do with the actual scan though. I felt pretty confident, and still very pregnant, so I had good feelings about the upcoming scan. But on the way there, on the back roads, I got stuck behind a little old couple doing well under the speed limit. I finally get around them after they turn, and hop onto Rt 2. To only be pinned between the person in front of me doing under the speed limit, and the little old lady next to me doing the same speed. Off to the back roads again, and finally start moving. Oh wait, lovely, there's a cop behind me. Ugh. Some days you can never win. The whole ride I kept telling myself "God is telling you to be patient and calm down." So I did.

I finally arrived to RSC at the exact time Chris did. Gotta love perfect timing. Walked into our appointment and was greeted by the same receptionist who had told us about the triplets. Headed back to our US, and thankfully Deb greeted us once again for our scan. Apparently she pulled rank and asked that we see her again. Got to love this woman! No time wasted, she jumps right to the heart beat so we can breath a sigh of relief.

And there it is.

One strong little heart, beating away! 126 beats per minute to be exact. (They like to see over 120 at 8 weeks. We are only at 7 weeks, so all good signs.)

Those two little gray lines are the heart. Along with our first little EKG.

Baby is about the size of 10 dimes stacked up, or 10mm. Up from 2mm last week. The round circle is the yolk sac. Above is the little bean.

After the scan we met with the nurse practitioner. Apparently she had reviewed last weeks scans and was preparing all week to give us bad news, or a new course of action. She was happily surprise at the nice strong heart beat today, and I swear she was more excited than we were. She was very positive. Stated last week we looked like we were a little behind in growth, but over the past week, we've caught right up. 

Hubby and I are still being cautious and attempting not too get too excited. Although we have made it further in growth than our first pregnancy. And my Hcg is higher than our first pregnancy as well. But going through this again at the exact same time of year as before, has us super worried. I really don't think I'll truly breath a sigh of relief until we reach 13 weeks. (Only 6 more to go.)

And here is our first official belly shot. Exactly 7 weeks. Hubby thinks I'm starting to show. Belly is just starting to stick out a little. (Also check out our new entryway decor! Do we like?) Could I be any paler? 

As of right now we are officially no longer patients at RSC! Hooray! We will begin seeing our OB next week. Our first consult with them is on Monday. I am beyond glad they now have an office in our home town, right around the corner. Makes life so much easier.

The receptionist gladly said her good byes and wished us luck. It has been great to have such nice, caring people getting us to this point. RSC has been wonderful this time around. So thorough, and understanding. Thanks to them, we are happily 7 weeks pregnant.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

What is this?

Yesterday began something completely new. Well, maybe it didn't start yesterday, maybe it's been a few days. But yesterday was really the first day I started to become concerned. I'm guessing it's stretching, possibly of my uterus. I've been getting what I can only describe as mild quick cramps. They are kind of a mixture of flutters, warmth and cramping. They aren't anything like menstrual cramps, but they definitely feel like some kind of cramping. Not painful at all. The honestly feel more like my implantation cramping felt like.  I still don't feel like "cramping" is the right word to use, but I can't think of any other way to describe it.

Any thoughts?

Today is also the beginning of 7 weeks. Still amazed and in awe that we've reached this point. I still feel symptoms every day. Most recently the nausea has turned to an empty stomach/starving feeling. I wake up in the morning to an empty stomach. And if I go longer than 3 hours without eating, my stomach begins to rumble again. Most of the nausea is gone in the mornings, and only seems to come around at 3pm. Along with some serious exhaustion. Yesterday at 3:30 I felt like I got hit by a Mack truck. And at 4:30 I was in jeopardy of falling asleep at my desk.

I did manage to make it to the chiropractor last night after work though. My lower back is super tight and didn't really release at all. My neck however feels so much better. After the appointment, I popped into Hannafords to pick up some fish and veggies for dinner. Some how Cinnamon & Sugar Pop Chips found there way into my carriage...... Headed home, put dinner together, and immediately after eating, I was asleep on the sofa. Hubby could see how tired I was, and even though he was doing work, he offered to do the dishes so I could sleep. 8pm. Yup, out cold. Woke up around 10 and headed upstairs. Read for a bit, then feel asleep.

Last night's sleep was not stellar though! I've been tossing and turning after 4am most nights. Today is the first day I really feel like I'm dragging ass. Thankfully it's a short day for me. So my afternoon will include a nap.

And tomorrow is our next ultrasound. I feel oddly calm and relaxed about this one. Hoping to see and hear the heartbeat this time. Or two. Either one will do.

Monday, November 26, 2012

Food Aversion #1

One of the things I've noticed the most is how much my appetite has changed. I get full much sooner than I used to. Only eating about half the size of a plate I'd usually eat. But about 2 hours later, I'm starving again. Most days I wake up to my stomach rumbling, screaming to be fed. I prefer to have my shake and slowly sip it over a good 2 hours. This seems to give my stomach time to adjust to being fed, and keeps the nausea from coming on too strong.

Last night, starving once again after only a few hours, I decided to make some stir fry. Used brown rice noodles, mushrooms, onions, zucchini, tofu, tomatoes and mixed some Liquid Aminos and Sweet & Spicy Chili sauce. Sounded pretty appetizing at the time.

Until I started cooking it.

Then put a small amount on my plate.

At which time, I attempted to take a bite. 


I used to love stir fry. It was my go to meal. Especially if it contained onions and mushrooms. 


I could only stand 3 bites before I felt like I might vomit. 

So I went to my new go to meal/snack.

Crackers and hummus. About the only thing that went down easy last night. Considering I used to eat stir fry ALL THE TIME, I'm assuming this to be my first food aversion.

Also regarding the hummus and crackers, I've found that Cedars seems to use the best ingredients regarding health to make their hummus. And the crackers are Back To Basics brand. Also using only the best ingredients. Definitely more expensive than Ritz, but they don't seem to bother my stomach.

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Too Early?

We've all been told that everyone's body reacts differently to pregnancy. Some women don't start showing until 4 months. Then there's some of us who can't button our jeans at 6 weeks. And yes, I am the latter of the two. Yesterday was the first day I rocked maternity jeans. And I'm not embarrassed to say so. Let me preface by saying the 2 comfortable pairs of jeans I own right now, that still fit well, I brought on vacation. They are in need of a wash. So yesterday, I attempted, several times might I add, to wear a pair of dress pants. However I am so swollen, nothing was comfortable. So I said screw it, and threw on the only pair of maternity jeans I own.


Who ever invented maternity jeans, had to be a woman. Elastic waist bands are so the way to go. I got up before my husband, so he was unaware of my rocking of the elastic band. Until we got to our ultrasound. Where I sheepishly stated that they were the only things not making me want to slit my wrists.

He laughed.

I was comfortable.

And that's all that mattered.

I felt even better about my decision when the nurse practitioner said my ovaries were so large (secreting all the necessary pregnancy hormones) that I should be pretty uncomfortable. And things probably won't fit well. Bingo!

So there!

Bending over is a slow and careful process. I think about every movement. I get up too quickly, I am rushed with exhaustion. I move too fast, my body reminds me to slow down. Every movement has changed. Even hiking on vacation last week, reminded me to take it easy. I was able to complete the 6.2 miles, but there were slow and steady. Until the end, where I desperately needed a bathroom.

I will say I'm feeling more confident and happier now. The nurses phoned yesterday and told me my hcg has gone from 783 on Tuesday, the 13th, to 3842 on Monday the 19th. So in 6 days it was a little higher than a 60% increase every 48 hours. Still in normal range. I have pushed for another round of blood work to be done next week at our ultrasound. Just to be sure the hcg is still rising.

Fingers crossed.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Results Are In

There is officially one strong little bean growing right on schedule. Measuring exactly 5 weeks and 6 days. Both the sac and yolk were visible along with one 2mm little fetus. No heart beat yet, but we'll be going back in for another ultrasound some time next week.

As happy and as thrilled as I am, I am still feeling oddly sad. Knowing one of our little embryos either didn't implant or didn't grow. It's still a loss. And deep down I had hoped for twins. It's been four long years of trying and grieving. The thought of having two at once, to me, meant this journey would be coming to an end. Knowing that we would like more than one child. Who knows what the future holds.

For now, I am slowly allowing myself to feel the joy of today's results. It's still a very long road ahead, one we've walked only one path on. Experienced only one outcome. I hope and pray these results are different. But I know I have no control over the outcome. So for now, I will keep reminding myself what a blessing today is. That for the second time, we've seen our little one.

Just What the Doctor Ordered

After last week's almost nervous breakdown, thanks to slow rising Hcg numbers and a very negative nurse, we headed up North on Tuesday for some much needed R&R. Thankfully when I spoke to the nurse Monday, she stated I wouldn't need any other blood work, besides Tuesday's until the following week. So I got up at the ass crack of dawn and headed in for my blood draw. Came home to a very sleepy husband, not moving too quickly. We took our time, finished packing, loaded up the car, stopped in at Starbucks, then headed North. Finally.

Trapp Family Lodge in Stowe, VT is one of our favorite places to go and relax. During our drive up, the nurse phoned with my morning blood draw results. In 4 days, my Hcg went from 300 to 783. Still considered in the normal range because it was elevating by 60% in 48 hours. Although they still felt the numbers were a little low. So she ran through the ectopic pregnancy symptoms over the phone with me, and stressed numerous times to run to the ER if I had any signs.


Once I heard that, I felt a little better. Not about the ectopic thing, but that my numbers were still climbing. And once we got up north, it was all relaxation for me.

The View from our room.

Hubby Enjoying lunch in Burlington at The Farmhouse.

He also enjoyed several beverages. Seems to be enjoying the DD wife.

I sipped on some Ginger Ale.

We treated ourselves to a cinnamon roll for breakfast one day.

Did some light hiking.

Our friends came to join us on Friday night.

We did some hiking with them as well. 

We even made it up the 3.1 mile hike to the cabin in the woods.

Then continued to hike down the 3.1 miles. Probably over did it a bit, but I took my time.

Enjoyed a puzzle.

Or two.

All in all, we had a great time doing a whole lot of nothing. But eating. Hiking. Relaxing at their spa. And just enjoying some time alone. 

Today though, we head in for our first ultrasound. They'll also be running several blood tests to be sure my kidneys and liver are functioning properly. Fingers crossed all goes well. Today is apparently 5 weeks and 6 days. Most likely we'll see the sac, and possible a heart beat. Or two. Still early though. 

Oh, and I forgot to mention all the rainbows we saw in VT. At least 2, possibly 3. Always brought a smile to my face.

Monday, November 12, 2012

Seeking Posititivity

As you can imagine, we were heart broken on Friday when the nurse called and told us that my Hcg went from 205 to 300. In most pregnancies, they like to see the number double every 24-48 hours. However, that's only in 85% of pregnancies. In the other 15%, those numbers take longer to double. Sometimes between 3 and 4 days. Which is what we believe is happening here.

I did a little research on Friday, and some more today. I've found in a few places that even if your numbers don't double, a 60% increase is considered normal. I was 68%! I'm seeing that as a good sign.

I won't lie, I really freaked out on Friday when they called. I was at work, and managed to hold it together on the phone with the nurse. Until I called my husband. That's when the water works turned on. I immediately thought that this pregnancy will end the same as the last. (You can't help to go there, since that's the only place you've ever been.) I had a hard time pulling myself together, which my boss unfortunately noticed, and sent me home. Thank the Lord. I went home, curled up on the sofa, and took a much needed nap.

It wasn't until Saturday, that I started taking on a different view of what's happening. The only 2 true increases in Hcg that documents a pregnancy have been through IVF. In both cases, my Hcg started high, then slowed down. I'm choosing to see this as this is just how my body works. Instead of the alternative, possible ectopic pregnancy, or early sign of miscarriage.

My body hasn't really ever done anything according to the "normal" standards. So why would this be the same? Beats me. So I choose to be positive. I still feel very pregnant. Nausea. Exhaustion. Peeing a lot. My boobs hurt so bad, that hugs are given lightly these days. Plus they've become super veiny. I'm swollen, to the point where my pants aren't buttoned today, but held together by an elastic (which works great!). And I have endless mucus. And not just the progesterone leaking out, more like tacky egg whites. All great signs!!!!

Tomorrow I'll be heading in for another round of blood work. I tried to get them to do an ultrasound as well, but they keep saying it's too early. We did get the go ahead to go on vacation, which we were thrilled about. Originally, the nurse told us to hold off. But I spoke with her this morning, and she spoke with our doctor. They both agreed that we should head up north, but locate a lab in case we need to have another round of blood work done.

So that is our current plan. Early am blood draw. Home to pack and load up the car, then off to VT until Sunday. We'll get a call later in the day tomorrow with the current Hcg levels. Fingers crossed they've gone up at least 60%! If they haven't doubled, like they hope to see, then probably another blood draw in a few days. Then possible ultrasound, I'm guessing next week. Tomorrow is 5 weeks though, so Amen to that!

PS- I may have peed on a stick Sat and today. Just wanted to be sure that dark line was still present, which it was! Yay!

Friday, November 9, 2012

Nothing goes smoothly

As I've said before, Hcg should double every 24-48 hours.

I've gone from 205 to 300 in 48 hours.

Next round of blood work is Tuesday. Now intruding on our vacation plans. We'll be waiting for their call before we can head to VT. If news is good, we'll be on our way. If news is bad, we'll be having an ultrasound.

Prayers and positive thoughts are strongly encouraged. Please and thank you!

First Trimester Advice?

Fear. It's what usually keeps us from doing something. Or it drives us not to do something. In IVF, fear is usually a huge factor. You fear you won't make any viable eggs. You fear your embryos won't grow. You fear you won't have any frozen embryos. You fear the embryos won't implant. You fear you won't create enough hcg. You fear scheduling anything remotely to do with future appointments. Especially if you've had previous miscarriages.

There's always that fear inside of you, dreading that the past will repeat its self. That you won't make it through the first trimester. That you'll schedule ultrasound appointments for 8 weeks, but you won't make it that long.

I am doing my best to remove the fear. Remove all those negative thoughts, concerns, past memories, anything that hinders giving these two little embybabies a chance. After all, this is a new pregnancy. It is new life that is growing. It's been 2 years, and I'm different. My body is different. (Sigh) This IVF cycle was different. Research has changed and prompted new protocols. Like taking progesterone until 10 weeks instead of 6. Things are just different.

How can you follow what your gut is telling you to do when that fear grips you from inside, and digs its nails in? Here's my thoughts on the matter.

1. Be your own advocate. Listen to what your body is telling you. Listen to your symptoms. If they seem to disappear, call your doctor and demand an appointment. If they get too severe, call your doctor.

2. Be proactive. Make appointments with your OB, even though you are still working with the fertility center. Let them know your past, and your fears, and be sure that you are being heard. Having those appointments scheduled will give you something to look forward to, and some peace of mind.

3. Listen to your gut. If you think you have issues with progesterone levels, ask your doctor for a prescription after voicing your concerns. If they are truly caring, they'll look into it further, or continue to monitor. From what I know and researched, extra progesterone isn't a bad thing.

4. Find something to do that keeps you calm. I don't care what it is, but if it works, stick with it. I never thought I'd be working full time and going through IVF, and let me tell you, sitting at a desk all day has reeked havoc on my health and stress levels. I've found listening to meditative/yoga music, really helps.

5. Stay active. You'll sleep better. Your stress levels will go down. You'll keep the weight gain under control. And hopefully you'll help to keep that fear away. Make sure to never get breathless, and don't start any strenuous routines will pregnant. Start simply by walking at a normal pace. As your body adjusts, listen to it.

6. Eat well. Let me rephrase that: Eat Healthy! Everything you take in, your baby takes in. And especially early on, your baby needs so many nutrients to grow. I'm a firm believer that what you eat while you're pregnant, is what your child will crave later on. Try to fight bad cravings, and ask your self "What nutrients does the baby and myself need?" before you decide on what to eat.

Anyone else have good advice on how to get through the first trimester?

Thursday, November 8, 2012

4 Weeks, 2 Days

It's early. I mean super early. In IVF, you are basically starting from Week 1 of pregnancy. And I don't mean the first week you know, because technically that's Week 4. Week one starts when your menstrual flow does. Your body begins by creating follicles on your ovaries after menstruation  These follicles are eggs. One of those lucky follicles will actually ovulate and release an egg (Week 2). It's this exact time, give or take a few days, that normally you and your spouse would have unbelievable amounts of unprotected sex. Then the sperm would penetrate the egg, fertilizing it. The cells would begin to split and eventually make their way down to your uterus (Week 3). Then implant its self in your lining. And about 5 days later, you'd start showing HcG elevation, most likely showing up on a home test (Week 4).

Not in IVF though.

Week 1 begins with Lupron which suppresses your ovaries. At this time, you might start creating follicles. Sometime around Day 10 you'll start taking Gonal F. The Gonal F helps to mature these follicles, and helps them to grow to appropriate ovulation sizes. Your doc will monitor and let you know when to take your Trigger shot (HcG) to help truly mature these eggs so that they'll be ready for Egg Retrieval (ER) (Week 2). ER harvests your eggs from all those growing follicles. It's at this time they'll take the man's sperm and either mix it in the dish with the eggs, or ICSI, inject them in the eggs. Then the'll watch them grow. And eventually, if you're lucky you'll have some gorgeous looking embryos. Then they'll take the embryo and implant it directly into your uterus (Week 2.5). A few days later, between days 4-10 post transfer, that little embryo will begin implanting it's self, or nuzzling as I like to call it, into your lining. Then 12 days post transfer, you'll have a blood test to determine if you're pregnant or not. (Week 4)

Now for those of us who are vocal about our experiences, as excited as we are that we've made it this far, and we want to yell it to everyone we know, it's still a scary time. Many times these pregnancies end in what they call chemical pregnancies, where the embryo implants, secrets HcG, but then stops growing. Or, your HcG may not elevate properly, meaning your body is not withholding the pregnancy.

Follow up blood work is usually done 2-3 days after your first positive blood test. This is to ensure that your HcG is increasing. Normally they like to see a 60% increase within 48 hours. Until that happens, you really aren't in the clear. Then there's the long wait for your first ultrasound to be sure there is a heartbeat.

Our first time around 2 years ago, my HcG was not elevating properly. I believe we ended up having 3-4 blood draws to monitor the increases. After the 3rd or 4th, my doctor insisted on an ultrasound to be sure we weren't having an ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully we weren't, and we had our first amazing little flickering heart beat appear on the screen. This was around 6 weeks. It was sometime between then and 9 weeks that that little heart beat failed to continue.

So ask me if I'm still paranoid about things? HELL YES!

Step 1 is really getting pregnant.

Step 2 is staying pregnant.

Hopefully we'll have a better idea if that is happening after tomorrow's blood draw. So please continue to pray for us, and sending all those positive thoughts. They are still greatly needed as we are just at 4 weeks and 2 days. (Most people wait until 12-13 weeks, the start of 2nd trimester, before they share their great news.) Thank you again for all your support, we have been truly blessed to have so many people looking out for us, and we appreciate your continued support!

Sometimes it helps to have a visual, so here they are, our two beautiful embryos. The one on the left was the very active one. I say left is a boy, and right is a girl. (I pictured her rolling her eyes at her brother doing somersaults.) Here's to hoping that they both have stuck around.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Step #1

sex and the city!

Somehow this seems so perfect for today. The stress, anxiety....the waiting......and waiting......and's never freaking ending. 

Of course of all days, my boss invites me to lunch with him and our new CEO to discuss our marketing strategies. The only thing I could think of was: "Are you kidding? My phone is going to ring!" How the heck am I supposed to take my phone call during that lunch. I contemplated letting them leave a voicemail. That way I could listen back to it. I could listen again if I black out. I would actually have all the information somewhere. 

So there I sat for a full hour, staring at my phone, praying it wouldn't ring. Praying I wouldn't have to excuse myself from the table, and not look like a crazy person as I sprint out the door to answer it. The walk to the car, phone in hand. Drive in the car, phone in hand. Leaving the restaurant, phone in hand.

So what happens?

Nothing. My phone never rang. Insert huge sigh of relief.

Now in the past, they usually call between 1 and 3pm. On occasion, they call later. I've noticed that the later calls usually pertain to scheduling another appointment. They wait until the end of the day to organize tomorrow's schedule. However, that doesn't effect me today. So what the hell was with the wait?

Then 3pm rolled around, and my phone was still not vibrating. 

Then 3:30. 

Then 4.

At this point I am super frustrated. So I call my nursing team only to get their voicemail. They stop checking messages at 4pm. 10 mins late. Good job Celia! 

I look at my phone after and realize, I have old voicemails. Probably should delete them. 5 to be exact. (I suck at checking messages.)

#5 however was quite interesting, seeing as I've had my phone with me all day! My nurse has called, stating she wishes she had reached me in congratulate us!

We are officially pregnant!

But I already knew that. ;)

Step #1 has been achieved! Step#2 is staying pregnant. Follow up blood work on Friday to recheck HcG levels. Then about 3.5 weeks later is the ultrasound.

Thank you so much everyone for all your positive thoughts, prayers, words of encouragement. 
They are so greatly appreciated!

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

The "T" word

There is a word that keeps coming up, all around me. It's starting to frighten me. More so because we honestly don't know what's happening at the moment. Yet every where we turn, the dreaded word keeps appearing. In stories of others. Around coworkers. E-V-E-R-Y-W-H-E-R-E!

Now don't get me wrong, we will welcome whatever life has thrown our way. I just find it odd, that every where we turn, someone else is telling us about


At our embryo transfer appointment, the receptionist told us about a recent patient who walked out of their ultrasound crying. Come to find out, after 3 years of trying, they were expecting 3! And dad was ghostly white with panic. (Kind of how I picture my hubby turning if that happens to us.)

We've joked that that active little embryo doing somersaults in his dish (we pictured him saying "WEEEEEEE!!!!!) split. Just because the little guy wouldn't sit still.

Come to find out, 3 day transfers have a higher chance of splitting. That's why most docs prefer day 5 transfers to help cut down on the odds.

Friends and family have both joked that we'll end up with 3.

I just over heard a coworker talking about friends that had triplets.

I am one of three. Both my sisters have 3 kids.

So what are the odds? Well, I guess we'll find out.

First things first though, am I pregnant?

Monday, November 5, 2012

2 Days and Counting

What a great weekend! And a perfect distraction. We headed out of work early on Friday, and headed up to Waterville Valley for the wedding of one of my dearest friends. We arrived around 5:30 and hauled all our stuff up to our condo. Then headed over to the bride and groom's suite.

Spent Friday evening among friends with a family style potluck dinner. Some drinks (not for me of course). Lots of desserts. And a few games. I was wiped around 7pm, as per usual. I snuck off a few times, and ended up getting in my pjs around 9pm. Yoga pants seem to become a dear friend over the past week. Between cramping and some serious bloating, elastics are like heaven.

Now I rarely sleep well in other places, which I am used to. I always pack ear plugs now, and keep to my normal nightly routine. Brush. Wash my face. Put on my noise machine. Read for about 30 mins, or until my eyes get heavy. I'm guessing I was asleep by 10:30.

At 3:15 I woke up, for some reason I had ripped my ear plugs out, and my bladder was feeling like it might explode. So I tip toed to the bathroom where I released, what felt like, a gallon of water. Then crept back into bed. And at 5:20, my bladder was feeling full again. So off I went for round 2. Then round 3 at 7:30. So needless to say, I slept like shit. But was amazingly pretty much awake all day.

The wedding was gorgeous, and the bride looked absolutely stunning. Exceptional food for dinner, and surrounded by friends. What more can you ask for? Oh, about no intense cramps so you can enjoy the reception? Around 7pm, I was so completely consumed by exhaustion. I usually spend the entire evening on the dance floor. Instead spent most of the night in my seat. I made the mistake of wearing Spanx, seeing as I feel like a fat blob at the moment. Those ended up getting taken off around 9pm, and shoved in hubby's coat.

Reception wrapped up around 10pm, at which time we headed back to our condo to change. And yes, out came the yoga pants. There wasn't a chance in hell I was putting on jeans. Yoga pants, long sleeve shirt, and down vest. We headed back down to the local bar where there was a 70's themed birthday party complete with wigs, Go Go boots, bell bottoms, the works. Attempted to dance a little more, but headed out around 11:30.

Saturday night, I slept great. Thank the Lord! From about midnight to 7am, which was technically 8am with day light savings time. But again, was woken up by a full bladder, otherwise I probably would have slept for several more hours. We packed up and headed home around 10am. Dropped off our friend, and stepped in our front door around  12:30. At which time, I again threw on some yoga pants, and curled up on the sofa with hubby. Ended up taking a much needed 2 hour nap.

Definitely felt some intense implantation cramping after our nap. So glad we took the day to lounge and relax, I certainly needed it. Only 2 days left until the blood test. My impatience has definitely gotten the best of me though, so I have an idea of what the results will be.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

The Beauty of Acupuncture

I realize that many people are not pro-acupuncture, like I am. But let me tell you, it makes a difference! I've been seeing Maya from Maya Acupuncture in Concord. From the moment we first spoke, I knew she would be/is truly amazing. She is a complete wealth of knowledge and is so thorough.

My first appointment she was able to squeeze in last minute on the day of our transfer. She only had 45 mins, but the 30 mins I was sitting there all poked and prodded  I was completely relaxed. Most of the needles I couldn't even feel. There were a couple in my feet/ankles, one in each knee, a couple in my ears, on my neck....and the last one she put in was right between my eye brows. I felt nothing until that last one went in. Immediately it started radiating down to the couple around my collar bone. We were channeling Qi. (For those of you not familiar with the term, you can read more here.)

That first appointment I didn't feel much, besides complete relaxation. At one point I'm pretty sure I fell asleep. But yesterday I went back for another round, this time a full hour. Similar placement of the needles. Except for one new one. She asked at the beginning of the appointment how I was feeling. "Well, I'm feeling pregnant." She smiled, and seemed surprised. I wasn't kidding though. I went through everything I've been feeling with her, as she continued to smile.

Once all the usual needles were in, she put one right on the top of my head. I was slightly nervous, and may have cringed a little when she told me to take a deep breath in then out. But I hardly felt it. She said this needle will help pull my energy up since I've been so tired. I just smiled and laid there, not entirely believing that this was even possible. She also kept feeling my pulse. At one point I asked what it was she was looking for. Apparently during pregnancy, your heartbeat becomes more liquid-y  not as intense. (I know she used a different word, but for the life of my, I can't remember.) Supposedly mine was doing just that. Then she followed up with the fact that progesterone is known to do the same thing. Damn.

I had a difficult time relaxing. I noticed a few times I twinged a little, and my shoulders kept tensing up around my ears. I tried to focus on deep breaths and removing myself from the room. It took a while, but I finally got there. Complete relaxation for about 10 mins. At least it's something!

Now usually, around 2 or 3pm everyday, I start to lose steam. My body starts dragging even more, and my steps slow to a leisurely pace. Not yesterday. That little needle at the top of my head apparently worked wonders, because I was full steam until about 7pm. And that's when I hit the wall. I stayed late at work, then popped into the grocery store for a few things. Made it all the way home, and BAM! Wall. Thankfully my husband was already home and in no rush for dinner.

Easy night. Pretty sure I fell asleep around 8:30 on the sofa.

Having that extra energy though, as much as I welcome it, it made me doubt myself. Since 3 days post transfer, I've been convinced I'm pregnant. The acupuncture has been working, and relieving some of those symptoms. Making me doubt whether what I'm feeling is real, or just the side effects of the progesterone supplement. And as much as I enjoy the relief, I think I enjoy the signs much more. It's the signs that are giving me hope. It's the signs that are getting me through those spells of exhaustion.

I woke up this morning feeling great. No signs all morning while getting ready for work. Showered. Make up. Hair. Breakfast. Drove to work. And as soon as I stepped out of my car, there it was. The cramps. The amazing cramps reminding me that there are two little embryos in there working hard to continue to grow. 2 little ones that continued to make me nauseous, and kept me from inhaling my breakfast.

6 more days. (half way through the long wait)