The Beauty of Acupuncture

I realize that many people are not pro-acupuncture, like I am. But let me tell you, it makes a difference! I've been seeing Maya from Maya Acupuncture in Concord. From the moment we first spoke, I knew she would be/is truly amazing. She is a complete wealth of knowledge and is so thorough.

My first appointment she was able to squeeze in last minute on the day of our transfer. She only had 45 mins, but the 30 mins I was sitting there all poked and prodded  I was completely relaxed. Most of the needles I couldn't even feel. There were a couple in my feet/ankles, one in each knee, a couple in my ears, on my neck....and the last one she put in was right between my eye brows. I felt nothing until that last one went in. Immediately it started radiating down to the couple around my collar bone. We were channeling Qi. (For those of you not familiar with the term, you can read more here.)

That first appointment I didn't feel much, besides complete relaxation. At one point I'm pretty sure I fell asleep. But yesterday I went back for another round, this time a full hour. Similar placement of the needles. Except for one new one. She asked at the beginning of the appointment how I was feeling. "Well, I'm feeling pregnant." She smiled, and seemed surprised. I wasn't kidding though. I went through everything I've been feeling with her, as she continued to smile.

Once all the usual needles were in, she put one right on the top of my head. I was slightly nervous, and may have cringed a little when she told me to take a deep breath in then out. But I hardly felt it. She said this needle will help pull my energy up since I've been so tired. I just smiled and laid there, not entirely believing that this was even possible. She also kept feeling my pulse. At one point I asked what it was she was looking for. Apparently during pregnancy, your heartbeat becomes more liquid-y  not as intense. (I know she used a different word, but for the life of my, I can't remember.) Supposedly mine was doing just that. Then she followed up with the fact that progesterone is known to do the same thing. Damn.

I had a difficult time relaxing. I noticed a few times I twinged a little, and my shoulders kept tensing up around my ears. I tried to focus on deep breaths and removing myself from the room. It took a while, but I finally got there. Complete relaxation for about 10 mins. At least it's something!

Now usually, around 2 or 3pm everyday, I start to lose steam. My body starts dragging even more, and my steps slow to a leisurely pace. Not yesterday. That little needle at the top of my head apparently worked wonders, because I was full steam until about 7pm. And that's when I hit the wall. I stayed late at work, then popped into the grocery store for a few things. Made it all the way home, and BAM! Wall. Thankfully my husband was already home and in no rush for dinner.

Easy night. Pretty sure I fell asleep around 8:30 on the sofa.

Having that extra energy though, as much as I welcome it, it made me doubt myself. Since 3 days post transfer, I've been convinced I'm pregnant. The acupuncture has been working, and relieving some of those symptoms. Making me doubt whether what I'm feeling is real, or just the side effects of the progesterone supplement. And as much as I enjoy the relief, I think I enjoy the signs much more. It's the signs that are giving me hope. It's the signs that are getting me through those spells of exhaustion.

I woke up this morning feeling great. No signs all morning while getting ready for work. Showered. Make up. Hair. Breakfast. Drove to work. And as soon as I stepped out of my car, there it was. The cramps. The amazing cramps reminding me that there are two little embryos in there working hard to continue to grow. 2 little ones that continued to make me nauseous, and kept me from inhaling my breakfast.

6 more days. (half way through the long wait)

From 6 to 3

Yesterday's check in, I guess you could say, went well. From the 6 eggs they retrieved, only 4 were mature enough to ICSI. And one of those four did not play nice with the sperm. Which has left us with 3 embryos. As of yesterday the 3 contenders were at 2 cells each. Because of my "age" and the number of embryos we have, we've been told we will have a Day 3 transfer.

That was a shock.

This whole cycle has been a shock.

You truly never know what is going to happen with IVF. Something I've been sharing with many of you privately. Each cycle is different and your body reacts differently to the meds each time. So when we went from 13 eggs 2 years ago to 6 this cycle, I was beyond shocked. Then to hear that we only have 3 embryos (versus 8 before) I am on edge. My nurse was very positive though, and said that our odds are quite high and the fact that 4 out of the 6 eggs were mature, is wonderful. And the fact that 3 are growing strong is a great sign.

I'm continuously reminding myself that you only need one good one. You only need one good embryo to get pregnant. I know many people view embryos as babies, which I do as well. There is life forming, and growing in those 3 embryos. Those are our children, waiting to grow. Waiting to have a chance.

Today we'll be getting a report on how those 3 made it through the night. I can quite honestly say that I am a nervous wreck. I keep telling myself to remain positive, imagine how I want things to go. That foreseeing the future will help. That staying positive and sending those little embybabies all the positive energy I can, will help them mature.

So that is what I'm doing. I'm going to picture them tucked tightly into my uterus, home safe and sound, and growing on schedule.

It's hard to imagine if all 3 grow properly, what to do. How do you decide which 2 to choose? I was asked this morning if we'll be putting all 3 in. Unfortunately, because of my age, I doubt my doctor will go for that. Nor will my husband. Day 3 transfers are apparently more prone to multiples. One of the reasons they lean towards Day 5 transfers instead. Apparently the embryo has a higher chance of splitting once in it's normal environment than in the petri dish around day 3-4 growth.

What's a girl to do?

And the number is?

Egg retrieval. The dreaded day that you wait for weeks to come. You fear the event, the outcome, and whether or not you'll have any eggs to retrieve or any that will grow. Something I should not be afraid of seeing as the first round gave us 13 eggs. But I still was.

And of course, they were running an hour behind. Not being able to eat after midnight the night before, my stomach was growling. At some point it passed, and I was being wheeled into the procedure room. A lovely white, sterile room complete with massive stirrups and a crowd of nurses and doctors at the end. Thankfully they begin the anesthesia almost immediately to help you forget that all of these people are about to investigate your lady parts.

I wake up 30 mins later to my handsome husband rubbing my arm. Soon after the doctor comes out. "We retrieved 6 eggs" she says happily. 6? That's it?! That's all I can think. I know I should be happy, I should be thrilled that they retrieved any at all. But going from 13 to 6 in a matter of 2 years was quite depressing. What's wrong with me? Did the cyst hinder growth? Am I going through premature menopause? Are my eggs dying?

I try to calm myself down. My husband helps. 6. It's something. It's a start. After all, you only need one good one. In our case, 2. That's what we've decided on. 2 Embryos. (I may have been keeping this from you. My apologies.) Yes, our chance of twins increases, 30-40% to be exact. But after you've been trying to conceive for 4 years, twins is a welcome thought.

Yesterday, we got home, I devoured some Chinese take out, and passed out for a good 3 hours. Hubby had a conference call so I was on my own for a bit. After he finished up, he headed to the store for some extra strength Tylenol and gatorade. 2 things they recommended post retrieval. That and about 30g of protein each day. Oh, and I'm not allowed to do any Bikram or working out for the next week or so. Lovely. Only low impact yoga 3 days post retrieval. And no heavy lifting.

Today I woke up, still in pain. Achy ovaries, and absolutely exhausted. I knew sitting a desk all day long would probably make things worse. So I stayed home. Thankfully I did, because I've been sleeping all day. Tylenol. Gatorade. Sleep. Repeat.

Around 1pm, my phone rings. It's RSC. The nurse is checking up on me to see how I'm feeling, how my IV site is healing. She then updates me that I'll be getting a call around 3:30 today to let us know how our embryos are doing. I was originally told we wouldn't be getting a call until Thur morning to let us know when transfer would be. I plum forgot that they first call to let you know how ICSI went, and whether or not we have any growers.

Cross your fingers that our 6 little eggs are healthy and thriving!

It's Happening.

Sunday morning began with sunshine. A couple dropped tears as the emotions of everything are setting in, on our drive to the ultrasound. It's been 2 years, almost to the date of our first round. And as hopeful and positive as we've been, we still have our moments of ever loving fear. But we're holding it together, as best as possible. I'm seeing October as a positive sign. My Mom's birthday, sister's birthday, and grandfather's birthdays are all in October, along with a good friend's. We've both seen several rainbows and had some other signs along the way.

We arrived a few minutes late to RSC, but were taken in immediately for blood work. With in moments of heading back to the waiting room, we were called in for our ultrasound. There is one tech there that I absolutely love, and thankfully it was her day to work! She's so positive, always smiling, very thorough. At one point she was looking at our eggs and said "Go Team!". That's the kind of gal she is. Absolute gem.

As she begins scanning, she first views my uterine lining. We're up to 11! Anything over 7 or 8 is good. Then she shifts over to my left ovary and all you can see is huge dark spots. Those dark spots are follicles, all different sizes, all different shapes. She begins measuring. 18. 16. 22! 15..... So I asked what it is they want to see for sizes. "At least 3 measuring over 18." Then she moves over to the right side. 15. 12. 18. My mind begins to flood.....this is really happening! My body has made it to retrieval. It's still up in the air at this point, because the blood work needs to come back before any decisions can be made.

After the appointment, we drove up to Wachusett Mountain for their annual Apple Fest to meet up with some friends. Slightly chilly, but all in all, absolutely great day! Ran into a few friends, my hairdresser and the winner of the female 5K! Congrats to Val! Took the tram to the top.

As we were heading back to our car on the shuttle bus, my phone rings. It's the nurse from RSC. And of course, I don't have paper or a pen with me. Thank goodness for smart phones and email. As I'm listening to her, I look up to find one of my closest friends, her husband, cousin and her boyfriend sitting directly across from us. No joke. Small world people, small freaking world.

Estradiol is 1100.

Can't remember what my LH was.

12 follicles measuring over 10cc (yay!)

Instructions: Stop taking Lupron. Take 150 of Gonal F Sunday night between 7-9pm. Take HcG trigger shot at 11pm exactly. Egg retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday at 11am. 

Trigger shot is done exactly 36 hours before retrieval, it helps mature the follicles an extra 2cc. So there's a slight possibility we might have over 12 eggs. 

It's happening. It's really happening.

We've made it this far. Here's to hoping we can make it through the next couple of steps. The hard work is over. No more shots! Tonight I don't have to take a damn thing, and let me tell you, it feels good. The trigger shot really burned, and the injection site is super tender. (I might be wearing yoga pants at work today. Don't judge me.) 

Tomorrow, they'll surgically remove my eggs. Hubby will make his "deposit". They'll inject his sperm into my eggs, only the good looking guys though. (This step is called ICSI.) They'll watch our embryos grow for up to 5 days. Depending on their growth, our transfer will either be 3 or 5 days post retrieval. In between retrieval and transfer, I plan to hit up some Bikram, the chiropractor and schedule an appointment with a acupuncturist for after our transfer. (Do the research people, it's shown the help.)

So tomorrow, when you're sitting at your desk, running your errands, or doing whatever it is you do at 11am, please say a quick prayer, send some positive thoughts and energy our way. If you can of course.