4 Weeks, 2 Days

It's early. I mean super early. In IVF, you are basically starting from Week 1 of pregnancy. And I don't mean the first week you know, because technically that's Week 4. Week one starts when your menstrual flow does. Your body begins by creating follicles on your ovaries after menstruation  These follicles are eggs. One of those lucky follicles will actually ovulate and release an egg (Week 2). It's this exact time, give or take a few days, that normally you and your spouse would have unbelievable amounts of unprotected sex. Then the sperm would penetrate the egg, fertilizing it. The cells would begin to split and eventually make their way down to your uterus (Week 3). Then implant its self in your lining. And about 5 days later, you'd start showing HcG elevation, most likely showing up on a home test (Week 4).

Not in IVF though.

Week 1 begins with Lupron which suppresses your ovaries. At this time, you might start creating follicles. Sometime around Day 10 you'll start taking Gonal F. The Gonal F helps to mature these follicles, and helps them to grow to appropriate ovulation sizes. Your doc will monitor and let you know when to take your Trigger shot (HcG) to help truly mature these eggs so that they'll be ready for Egg Retrieval (ER) (Week 2). ER harvests your eggs from all those growing follicles. It's at this time they'll take the man's sperm and either mix it in the dish with the eggs, or ICSI, inject them in the eggs. Then the'll watch them grow. And eventually, if you're lucky you'll have some gorgeous looking embryos. Then they'll take the embryo and implant it directly into your uterus (Week 2.5). A few days later, between days 4-10 post transfer, that little embryo will begin implanting it's self, or nuzzling as I like to call it, into your lining. Then 12 days post transfer, you'll have a blood test to determine if you're pregnant or not. (Week 4)

Now for those of us who are vocal about our experiences, as excited as we are that we've made it this far, and we want to yell it to everyone we know, it's still a scary time. Many times these pregnancies end in what they call chemical pregnancies, where the embryo implants, secrets HcG, but then stops growing. Or, your HcG may not elevate properly, meaning your body is not withholding the pregnancy.

Follow up blood work is usually done 2-3 days after your first positive blood test. This is to ensure that your HcG is increasing. Normally they like to see a 60% increase within 48 hours. Until that happens, you really aren't in the clear. Then there's the long wait for your first ultrasound to be sure there is a heartbeat.

Our first time around 2 years ago, my HcG was not elevating properly. I believe we ended up having 3-4 blood draws to monitor the increases. After the 3rd or 4th, my doctor insisted on an ultrasound to be sure we weren't having an ectopic pregnancy. Thankfully we weren't, and we had our first amazing little flickering heart beat appear on the screen. This was around 6 weeks. It was sometime between then and 9 weeks that that little heart beat failed to continue.

So ask me if I'm still paranoid about things? HELL YES!

Step 1 is really getting pregnant.

Step 2 is staying pregnant.

Hopefully we'll have a better idea if that is happening after tomorrow's blood draw. So please continue to pray for us, and sending all those positive thoughts. They are still greatly needed as we are just at 4 weeks and 2 days. (Most people wait until 12-13 weeks, the start of 2nd trimester, before they share their great news.) Thank you again for all your support, we have been truly blessed to have so many people looking out for us, and we appreciate your continued support!

Sometimes it helps to have a visual, so here they are, our two beautiful embryos. The one on the left was the very active one. I say left is a boy, and right is a girl. (I pictured her rolling her eyes at her brother doing somersaults.) Here's to hoping that they both have stuck around.

And the number is?

Egg retrieval. The dreaded day that you wait for weeks to come. You fear the event, the outcome, and whether or not you'll have any eggs to retrieve or any that will grow. Something I should not be afraid of seeing as the first round gave us 13 eggs. But I still was.

And of course, they were running an hour behind. Not being able to eat after midnight the night before, my stomach was growling. At some point it passed, and I was being wheeled into the procedure room. A lovely white, sterile room complete with massive stirrups and a crowd of nurses and doctors at the end. Thankfully they begin the anesthesia almost immediately to help you forget that all of these people are about to investigate your lady parts.

I wake up 30 mins later to my handsome husband rubbing my arm. Soon after the doctor comes out. "We retrieved 6 eggs" she says happily. 6? That's it?! That's all I can think. I know I should be happy, I should be thrilled that they retrieved any at all. But going from 13 to 6 in a matter of 2 years was quite depressing. What's wrong with me? Did the cyst hinder growth? Am I going through premature menopause? Are my eggs dying?

I try to calm myself down. My husband helps. 6. It's something. It's a start. After all, you only need one good one. In our case, 2. That's what we've decided on. 2 Embryos. (I may have been keeping this from you. My apologies.) Yes, our chance of twins increases, 30-40% to be exact. But after you've been trying to conceive for 4 years, twins is a welcome thought.

Yesterday, we got home, I devoured some Chinese take out, and passed out for a good 3 hours. Hubby had a conference call so I was on my own for a bit. After he finished up, he headed to the store for some extra strength Tylenol and gatorade. 2 things they recommended post retrieval. That and about 30g of protein each day. Oh, and I'm not allowed to do any Bikram or working out for the next week or so. Lovely. Only low impact yoga 3 days post retrieval. And no heavy lifting.

Today I woke up, still in pain. Achy ovaries, and absolutely exhausted. I knew sitting a desk all day long would probably make things worse. So I stayed home. Thankfully I did, because I've been sleeping all day. Tylenol. Gatorade. Sleep. Repeat.

Around 1pm, my phone rings. It's RSC. The nurse is checking up on me to see how I'm feeling, how my IV site is healing. She then updates me that I'll be getting a call around 3:30 today to let us know how our embryos are doing. I was originally told we wouldn't be getting a call until Thur morning to let us know when transfer would be. I plum forgot that they first call to let you know how ICSI went, and whether or not we have any growers.

Cross your fingers that our 6 little eggs are healthy and thriving!

It's Happening.

Sunday morning began with sunshine. A couple dropped tears as the emotions of everything are setting in, on our drive to the ultrasound. It's been 2 years, almost to the date of our first round. And as hopeful and positive as we've been, we still have our moments of ever loving fear. But we're holding it together, as best as possible. I'm seeing October as a positive sign. My Mom's birthday, sister's birthday, and grandfather's birthdays are all in October, along with a good friend's. We've both seen several rainbows and had some other signs along the way.

We arrived a few minutes late to RSC, but were taken in immediately for blood work. With in moments of heading back to the waiting room, we were called in for our ultrasound. There is one tech there that I absolutely love, and thankfully it was her day to work! She's so positive, always smiling, very thorough. At one point she was looking at our eggs and said "Go Team!". That's the kind of gal she is. Absolute gem.

As she begins scanning, she first views my uterine lining. We're up to 11! Anything over 7 or 8 is good. Then she shifts over to my left ovary and all you can see is huge dark spots. Those dark spots are follicles, all different sizes, all different shapes. She begins measuring. 18. 16. 22! 15..... So I asked what it is they want to see for sizes. "At least 3 measuring over 18." Then she moves over to the right side. 15. 12. 18. My mind begins to flood.....this is really happening! My body has made it to retrieval. It's still up in the air at this point, because the blood work needs to come back before any decisions can be made.

After the appointment, we drove up to Wachusett Mountain for their annual Apple Fest to meet up with some friends. Slightly chilly, but all in all, absolutely great day! Ran into a few friends, my hairdresser and the winner of the female 5K! Congrats to Val! Took the tram to the top.

As we were heading back to our car on the shuttle bus, my phone rings. It's the nurse from RSC. And of course, I don't have paper or a pen with me. Thank goodness for smart phones and email. As I'm listening to her, I look up to find one of my closest friends, her husband, cousin and her boyfriend sitting directly across from us. No joke. Small world people, small freaking world.

Estradiol is 1100.

Can't remember what my LH was.

12 follicles measuring over 10cc (yay!)

Instructions: Stop taking Lupron. Take 150 of Gonal F Sunday night between 7-9pm. Take HcG trigger shot at 11pm exactly. Egg retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday at 11am. 

Trigger shot is done exactly 36 hours before retrieval, it helps mature the follicles an extra 2cc. So there's a slight possibility we might have over 12 eggs. 

It's happening. It's really happening.

We've made it this far. Here's to hoping we can make it through the next couple of steps. The hard work is over. No more shots! Tonight I don't have to take a damn thing, and let me tell you, it feels good. The trigger shot really burned, and the injection site is super tender. (I might be wearing yoga pants at work today. Don't judge me.) 

Tomorrow, they'll surgically remove my eggs. Hubby will make his "deposit". They'll inject his sperm into my eggs, only the good looking guys though. (This step is called ICSI.) They'll watch our embryos grow for up to 5 days. Depending on their growth, our transfer will either be 3 or 5 days post retrieval. In between retrieval and transfer, I plan to hit up some Bikram, the chiropractor and schedule an appointment with a acupuncturist for after our transfer. (Do the research people, it's shown the help.)

So tomorrow, when you're sitting at your desk, running your errands, or doing whatever it is you do at 11am, please say a quick prayer, send some positive thoughts and energy our way. If you can of course.