Monday, November 19, 2012

Results Are In

There is officially one strong little bean growing right on schedule. Measuring exactly 5 weeks and 6 days. Both the sac and yolk were visible along with one 2mm little fetus. No heart beat yet, but we'll be going back in for another ultrasound some time next week.

As happy and as thrilled as I am, I am still feeling oddly sad. Knowing one of our little embryos either didn't implant or didn't grow. It's still a loss. And deep down I had hoped for twins. It's been four long years of trying and grieving. The thought of having two at once, to me, meant this journey would be coming to an end. Knowing that we would like more than one child. Who knows what the future holds.

For now, I am slowly allowing myself to feel the joy of today's results. It's still a very long road ahead, one we've walked only one path on. Experienced only one outcome. I hope and pray these results are different. But I know I have no control over the outcome. So for now, I will keep reminding myself what a blessing today is. That for the second time, we've seen our little one.

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