This week has been rough. Not entirely pregnancy wise, but in general. Knowing I'm 9 weeks, the time I first miscarried, has me on edge. I keep waiting for the rug to be pulled up from under me. I keep waiting for something bad to happen. Yet, at the same time, I feel very relaxed, calm even. Some days I'm completely at peace that I'm pregnant, almost forgetting sometimes. But of course the pressure and quick movements remind me of the state my body is in.
The big changes this week seem to be increased sense of smell, and breast tenderness has found it's way back. Yay. My dreams at night have been so crazy and clear, that I don't feel like I'm getting any rest. I keep falling asleep on the sofa around 9 (which feels like my deepest sleep), and then attempt to go to bed between 11-12. At which time I can't seem to fall back asleep. I know I should just go to bed at 9 so that I don't get up. But some nights hubby doesn't get home until then, or after, leaving us no time to see each other during the week.
Work of course gets ridiculously busy when I become pregnant, why not, right? My responsibilities have tripled. My work load is never ending, and each time I complete something, I'm given 4-5 more things to get done. I continuously feel like I'm taking 3 steps back. And I'm tired. And I'm cranky. And I'm ranting....
I have finally gotten into the Christmas spirit though. Completed almost all the shopping and finally listening to holiday music at work. It's one of the only things helping to get me through the day. That and chocolate....speaking of chocolate.....these are my favorite!
And I've picked up our Christmas cards yesterday, so hopefully I'll actually get those out sometime early next week.
*Please everyone say a prayer for the CT school shooting victims. I can't imagine how those families will deal with such a great loss before the holidays. (Home schooling is starting to sound better and better.)