Tuesday

This is the difficult part about blogging. There are things that I just don't want to talk about or share. But this is the reason for doing it. In hopes that this will help someone else along the way.

So the blood work done on Friday showed that my hCG levels have not been elevating properly. We went back Sunday morning for a fourth round of bloodwork. Having been excited that we were 5 weeks, we were staying positive. About 1:30pm the nurse phoned. My hCG went from 637 to 900. Approximately every 48 hours, the level should double. The nurse was not very reassuring. I am to go back Tuesday morning for a fifth round of blood work. If my levels are not showing the correct elevation, it is possible the pregnancy will need to be terminated.

I hung up the phone and immediately sobbed for a good 10 mins. Thankfully my husband was with me during the phone call. We laid in bed for about 20 mins, not speaking. There are no words to describe how I'm feeling. After two years of trying, and months of drugs and procedures, to have gotten this far and be sent right back to where we started is devastating.

I moped around the house for most of the day, trying to process everything. My husband keeping one eye on me to make sure I was all right. I finally went online and started researching normal hCG levels in early pregnancy. Only 85% of successful pregnancies show the elevated levels accurately. Which means 15% of pregnancies don't. It also mentioned that the levels can double anywhere between 48-72 hours. Although this gives me some hope, I'm still afraid that this won't end well. The nausea has subsided, I'm not nearly as tired as I was. I have had some cramping again, but no spotting.

On top of dealing with all of this, my husband's grandfather passed away on Friday. I get to have blood work and potentially devastating news on the same day as his wake. The positive energy is quickly dwindling.