8 more days

I'm officially 4 days in to my 12 day wait, and let me tell you, this shit is torturous! Every cramp, twinge, stomach turn, flatulence sends my emotions racing. Now I understand that all these things can be chalked up to me just being plain old crazy, but I must say there are several things forcing me to believe that we may exactly be the P word.

1. Nauseous- 

Began Sunday morning, and has continued. It's mainly prior to eating breakfast. I've been sticking to my VegaOne protein smoothie in the mornings to help keep me balanced, hydrated and packed with nutrients. I'm pretty sure it's helping. Probably because it takes me about 3 hours to finish it. So about every 5-10 mins I take a sip. I've found snacking and eating every 2-3 hours seems to be ideal.

2. Cramping- 

I started feeling it as early as Saturday. Yes, this can definitely be from the catheter and transfer procedure. But honestly, yesterday and today it has intensified. To the point yesterday evening that I almost took some Tylenol. And supposedly day 4 post transfer is when the little ones really starting nuzzling in and implanting. (Do your thang embryos! I can take it!)

3. Exhaustion- 

Good Lord am I tired! Mornings I'm usually pretty much wide awake, but by the afternoon I am crawling my way to the sofa. I'm usually one of those people who "runs" instead of walks at a normal pace. So when I attempt to move at my normal race speed, it's like I've been hit by a truck and can only move at a zombie's crawl. It literally feels like my uterus is slowing me down, holding me back from moving too quickly.

4. Flatulence- 

Yeah, that dreaded thing that happens to us all. Thankfully it seems to be only bad around evening time. Let's hope it stays that way. (We recently watched What To Expect When You're Expecting, and every time I relieve gas, I think of Elizabeth Banks trying to convince her husband that "It's the babies!")

5. Craving-

Chocolate. Candy. Anything sweet pretty much. Mostly chocolate though.
Vegetables. Yeah, complete opposites, I know. But every time I go to eat, I keep finding myself asking if it has ample nutrients for the little ones trying to grow. And I re-evaluate, and end up choosing something healthier, something with a higher veggie content.

6. Feeling-

The P word. Yes. I feel like I am. (But honestly, it could be the fact that I just want to be so badly. Mind games, ya know?) However, if you asked me flat out and I could not lie, I'd say yes. (Shhhhh, don't tell!)

Unfortunately, all these things can be from the progesterone and estrogen they have me taking. Every single one of them, except the Feeling. All the other symptoms can be caused by any number of things. So for now, I will continue to keep my emotions at bay, continue trying to eat healthier, and focus on getting through the next 8 days. Preferably without taking a home test. (Well, maybe just one?)

8 more long, torturous days to go, oh boy.

Connections

I always find it amazing just how small our world really is. And how you can meet someone for the first time, and have similar friends. These things are my life's little pleasures. And one of the truly amazing things about blogging, is how many people reach out to you either with similar situations, or affects your story has had on them.

I have been truly blessed to have been in contact with several women struggling to conceive right along side of us. For a few of them, I've been able to share in their joy of conceiving. For a few of them, we've walked similar paths and have recently explored new routes. For a few of them, we've never met, yet talk daily through email, supporting and encouraging one another.

These are all the things that you don't see here. The private connections that take place behind the scenes. The continued interactions that have helped to keep me positive but realistic. The stories shared of their struggles to conceive, their losses, and recommendations. There's only a 50% chance of conceiving through IVF. And a 30-40% chance of twins when transferring 2 embryos. So what does that mean? I'm scared shitless. So thank you everyone for all the positive comments and hopes that are keeping us going!

For my two ladies currently pregnant: I can not wait to see you and your bumps! (Maybe they can rub some of their luck off on me.)

For my two ladies going through IVF for the first time: I'm here for you, whatever you need. It's such a long, edge of your seat process. Try to stay calm and relaxed. Much easier said than done, I know.

And for me, 9 more days until we are confirmed. Attempting to keep myself busy for 9 more days, and hinder any urges to take a home test. (Yeah, right.)

Sunday Evening

As I sit here with the screen lit, New England is preparing for it's first hurricane in a long time. Instead of running off to the super market to stock up on food and supplies to prepare, we headed to the supermarket for snacks for the Pats game. (Which they kicked ass!) While we were walking through the produce section, a woman pulled her carriage up next to us. Sitting in her extra long carriage, were two beautiful twin girls. Complete with sparkly red shoes.

Hubby and I looked at each other, and smiled.

As early as Saturday, I have had mild to light cramping. I was pretty tired too. Which both are expected after the transfer.

The transfer.

It went well. We saw several other couples having their 3 day transfers as well, saw them first on Tuesday at our egg retrieval. One woman was apparently nervous as hell, as she clung to her husband and confessed "I didn't think I wanted the Valium, but now I want it!" He gracefully gave in to her request. The poor girl was sweating pretty bad too, as a nurse tried to wrap her with a warm blanket. She looked up and said "Do I have to have this?" "Oh no" the nurse said. "Good because I am so warm right now" Poor girl.

We got to talking with them, turns out they have secondary infertility. They were able to conceive their son on their own 2 years ago, without any problems. But when it came around for number two, they had no such luck. 3 fresh IVF cycles, 1 embryo each later, they were back to try 2 embryos. They are apparently just as worried as we are about having twins.

Twins.

That's what is currently in my uterus. Out of the 3 embryos, 2 were 8 cells, Grade A, and with very little fragmentation. The 3rd was only 6 cells, with high amounts of fragmentation. They do not believe it will reach cryo phase. The 2 healthy embryos were shown to us on a screen in out transfer room, prior to the actual transfer. One of the little guys, the one on the left to be exact, was doing somersaults. I kid you not. The little guy was moving around like crazy. (Hubby and I think he was hooting and hollering as he rolled around in his droplet of water. How fun.) The one on the right was far more serious. Probably rolling her eyes at her brother. At least I hope.

So as I lay there, with my lady parts exposed to one doctor, a nurse, an ultra sound tech, and a lab tech, my husband and I held hands and fought back tears of excitement. Everything has gone so well, and smoothly, we keep hoping that these two little ones are our take home babies. We hope there's two, but will welcome whatever ends up happening. Because after all, we have no control over this. Just hope.

Blood test isn't for another 10 days, but I already know what I'm feeling. Hoping it remains the same.

Friday 11AM

As of right now, our transfer will be tomorrow, Friday 10/26 at 11AM.

Our 3 little embryos are between 2 and 4 cells and are all Grade A's!

RSC will call tomorrow morning to confirm the transfer around 8:30AM. Our nurse believes they'll keep tomorrow's appointment instead of pushing it out to Sunday, Day 5. I'm guessing because we only have 3 little guys and plan to transfer 2.

So please keep the prayers, thoughts and all those good vibes you've been shooting out, coming! They are greatly appreciated!

Lots of love!

From 6 to 3

Yesterday's check in, I guess you could say, went well. From the 6 eggs they retrieved, only 4 were mature enough to ICSI. And one of those four did not play nice with the sperm. Which has left us with 3 embryos. As of yesterday the 3 contenders were at 2 cells each. Because of my "age" and the number of embryos we have, we've been told we will have a Day 3 transfer.

That was a shock.

This whole cycle has been a shock.

You truly never know what is going to happen with IVF. Something I've been sharing with many of you privately. Each cycle is different and your body reacts differently to the meds each time. So when we went from 13 eggs 2 years ago to 6 this cycle, I was beyond shocked. Then to hear that we only have 3 embryos (versus 8 before) I am on edge. My nurse was very positive though, and said that our odds are quite high and the fact that 4 out of the 6 eggs were mature, is wonderful. And the fact that 3 are growing strong is a great sign.

I'm continuously reminding myself that you only need one good one. You only need one good embryo to get pregnant. I know many people view embryos as babies, which I do as well. There is life forming, and growing in those 3 embryos. Those are our children, waiting to grow. Waiting to have a chance.

Today we'll be getting a report on how those 3 made it through the night. I can quite honestly say that I am a nervous wreck. I keep telling myself to remain positive, imagine how I want things to go. That foreseeing the future will help. That staying positive and sending those little embybabies all the positive energy I can, will help them mature.

So that is what I'm doing. I'm going to picture them tucked tightly into my uterus, home safe and sound, and growing on schedule.

It's hard to imagine if all 3 grow properly, what to do. How do you decide which 2 to choose? I was asked this morning if we'll be putting all 3 in. Unfortunately, because of my age, I doubt my doctor will go for that. Nor will my husband. Day 3 transfers are apparently more prone to multiples. One of the reasons they lean towards Day 5 transfers instead. Apparently the embryo has a higher chance of splitting once in it's normal environment than in the petri dish around day 3-4 growth.

What's a girl to do?

And the number is?

Egg retrieval. The dreaded day that you wait for weeks to come. You fear the event, the outcome, and whether or not you'll have any eggs to retrieve or any that will grow. Something I should not be afraid of seeing as the first round gave us 13 eggs. But I still was.

And of course, they were running an hour behind. Not being able to eat after midnight the night before, my stomach was growling. At some point it passed, and I was being wheeled into the procedure room. A lovely white, sterile room complete with massive stirrups and a crowd of nurses and doctors at the end. Thankfully they begin the anesthesia almost immediately to help you forget that all of these people are about to investigate your lady parts.

I wake up 30 mins later to my handsome husband rubbing my arm. Soon after the doctor comes out. "We retrieved 6 eggs" she says happily. 6? That's it?! That's all I can think. I know I should be happy, I should be thrilled that they retrieved any at all. But going from 13 to 6 in a matter of 2 years was quite depressing. What's wrong with me? Did the cyst hinder growth? Am I going through premature menopause? Are my eggs dying?

I try to calm myself down. My husband helps. 6. It's something. It's a start. After all, you only need one good one. In our case, 2. That's what we've decided on. 2 Embryos. (I may have been keeping this from you. My apologies.) Yes, our chance of twins increases, 30-40% to be exact. But after you've been trying to conceive for 4 years, twins is a welcome thought.

Yesterday, we got home, I devoured some Chinese take out, and passed out for a good 3 hours. Hubby had a conference call so I was on my own for a bit. After he finished up, he headed to the store for some extra strength Tylenol and gatorade. 2 things they recommended post retrieval. That and about 30g of protein each day. Oh, and I'm not allowed to do any Bikram or working out for the next week or so. Lovely. Only low impact yoga 3 days post retrieval. And no heavy lifting.

Today I woke up, still in pain. Achy ovaries, and absolutely exhausted. I knew sitting a desk all day long would probably make things worse. So I stayed home. Thankfully I did, because I've been sleeping all day. Tylenol. Gatorade. Sleep. Repeat.

Around 1pm, my phone rings. It's RSC. The nurse is checking up on me to see how I'm feeling, how my IV site is healing. She then updates me that I'll be getting a call around 3:30 today to let us know how our embryos are doing. I was originally told we wouldn't be getting a call until Thur morning to let us know when transfer would be. I plum forgot that they first call to let you know how ICSI went, and whether or not we have any growers.

Cross your fingers that our 6 little eggs are healthy and thriving!

It's Happening.

Sunday morning began with sunshine. A couple dropped tears as the emotions of everything are setting in, on our drive to the ultrasound. It's been 2 years, almost to the date of our first round. And as hopeful and positive as we've been, we still have our moments of ever loving fear. But we're holding it together, as best as possible. I'm seeing October as a positive sign. My Mom's birthday, sister's birthday, and grandfather's birthdays are all in October, along with a good friend's. We've both seen several rainbows and had some other signs along the way.

We arrived a few minutes late to RSC, but were taken in immediately for blood work. With in moments of heading back to the waiting room, we were called in for our ultrasound. There is one tech there that I absolutely love, and thankfully it was her day to work! She's so positive, always smiling, very thorough. At one point she was looking at our eggs and said "Go Team!". That's the kind of gal she is. Absolute gem.

As she begins scanning, she first views my uterine lining. We're up to 11! Anything over 7 or 8 is good. Then she shifts over to my left ovary and all you can see is huge dark spots. Those dark spots are follicles, all different sizes, all different shapes. She begins measuring. 18. 16. 22! 15..... So I asked what it is they want to see for sizes. "At least 3 measuring over 18." Then she moves over to the right side. 15. 12. 18. My mind begins to flood.....this is really happening! My body has made it to retrieval. It's still up in the air at this point, because the blood work needs to come back before any decisions can be made.

After the appointment, we drove up to Wachusett Mountain for their annual Apple Fest to meet up with some friends. Slightly chilly, but all in all, absolutely great day! Ran into a few friends, my hairdresser and the winner of the female 5K! Congrats to Val! Took the tram to the top.

As we were heading back to our car on the shuttle bus, my phone rings. It's the nurse from RSC. And of course, I don't have paper or a pen with me. Thank goodness for smart phones and email. As I'm listening to her, I look up to find one of my closest friends, her husband, cousin and her boyfriend sitting directly across from us. No joke. Small world people, small freaking world.

Estradiol is 1100.

Can't remember what my LH was.

12 follicles measuring over 10cc (yay!)

Instructions: Stop taking Lupron. Take 150 of Gonal F Sunday night between 7-9pm. Take HcG trigger shot at 11pm exactly. Egg retrieval is scheduled for Tuesday at 11am. 

Trigger shot is done exactly 36 hours before retrieval, it helps mature the follicles an extra 2cc. So there's a slight possibility we might have over 12 eggs. 

It's happening. It's really happening.

We've made it this far. Here's to hoping we can make it through the next couple of steps. The hard work is over. No more shots! Tonight I don't have to take a damn thing, and let me tell you, it feels good. The trigger shot really burned, and the injection site is super tender. (I might be wearing yoga pants at work today. Don't judge me.) 

Tomorrow, they'll surgically remove my eggs. Hubby will make his "deposit". They'll inject his sperm into my eggs, only the good looking guys though. (This step is called ICSI.) They'll watch our embryos grow for up to 5 days. Depending on their growth, our transfer will either be 3 or 5 days post retrieval. In between retrieval and transfer, I plan to hit up some Bikram, the chiropractor and schedule an appointment with a acupuncturist for after our transfer. (Do the research people, it's shown the help.)

So tomorrow, when you're sitting at your desk, running your errands, or doing whatever it is you do at 11am, please say a quick prayer, send some positive thoughts and energy our way. If you can of course. 

Making Eggs is Hard Work

I know what you're thinking. We females make eggs every month. And usually don't even feel or realize it. Each ovary will begin growing several follicles on each side. And somehow your pituitary gland decides which one's turn it is, and which follicle is ready. Thus creating ovulation. Something else most women don't even feel.

However, when you're being pumped with meds to make as many grow as possible (to obscene sizes so that they can be harvested) it feels a 'lil different.

1. Your ovaries begin feeling like water balloons. (We've covered that already.)

2. Your body is working so hard in creating these eggs, you get sluggish very easily. Meaning as I stand to walk somewhere, my body decides to go from my normal marathon pace, to about a 92 year old's. So if you see me this weekend, you'll know why I'm lingering.

3. Your conscience of the eggs, so even leaning or bending over inhibits severe panic that one will burst. (I'm not kidding. I'm currently typing leaning as far back in my chair as possible. Crazy? Probably.)

4. You start to get "menopause" brain, meaning focusing on anything has become a chore. (Am I right you post menopausal ladies?)

5. You can't remember shit! Wait....what was I going to say? Insert puzzled look here.

6. You start guessing when egg retrieval might be, based on your egg growth reports from the nurse. Maybe Monday? Tuesday? That means transfer is......

7. All you want to eat is pizza. (Maybe that's just me. If we're being honest, that's really nothing new. You can ask my husband.)

So today, I'm happy to report we have underdogs pulling ahead! They wait to pull them when they begin reaching 20. (And I think I'm uncomfortable now.....sigh.)

Estrodiol: 701
LH: 2.21

Left side:
12.1
12.3
13.6
14.8
14.8
16.4

Right side:
11.5
12.1
13.0
15.0

That's 10 possible embryos! That's 3 more possible eggs for retrieval, from just 2 days ago! Yay! Back in on Sunday (ugh) for more blood work and another ultrasound. Every step brings us closer though. 2 more nights of Lupron at 5cc, and Gonal F at 150. Fingers crossed for next week!!!!

Thank you again for all the positive thoughts, prayers and energy you are all sending! I know I can feel it, and it's making a huge difference, both physically and mentally! Love to you all!

Thankful for Water Balloons

If you were to fill a small balloon about 3/4 of the way with water, then continue to shove it up into your abdomen, you'd feel like me today. The Gonal F is working, which is great news. However, I feel like someone has replaced my ovaries with water balloons. That's really the only way to describe them. They're large, slightly painful and causing some serious back pressure. At the same time, I'm so worried about ovulating, I'm moving at a snails pace. And when I don't move at a snails pace, I find myself getting tired very quickly. My body is continuously reminding me just how hard my ovaries are working right now.

Although the discomfort is mounting, my follicles are thankfully growing right on schedule. Left side seems to be the leader of the pack with 5 good sized follicles, and 5 small ones. The right side, the problem child that had the cyst, is lacking. I have 2 good sized ones and 4 small guys. They range in size from 13.4 to 9.7, while the small ones are all under 10. That's a total of 16 follicles. 16 potential lives growing inside me as we speak. There's a good chance that one of these lil eggs will form a little person.

It's moments like this that I need to take a giant step back from what is currently happening inside of my body. We all seem to take life for granted. We assume when we start trying, that in a month or two a person will be growing inside of us. We look past all the extraordinary steps that had to be taken to even make that miracle happen.  That your body has created a healthy, mature egg. That the sperm has climbed it's way through the hostile, acid home that is your vagina. It's found the correct ovary, located the egg, and penetrated it. That little embryo took the journey down your fallopian tubes, and amazingly implanted in the perfect place. And continued to grow. All this happens before you even know you're pregnant.

With IVF, everything is a miracle. It's a miracle if your body doesn't reject Lupron. It's a miracle that your ovaries listen to the Lupron, and stop producing estrogen. It's a miracle that the Gonal F will create so many eggs your ovaries feel like water balloons. It's a miracle that they mature, and don't ovulate on their own. It's a miracle that they can harvest your eggs surgically. It's a damn miracle that they can inject the sperm into the egg to ensure an embryo is born. It's a miracle that they can continue to grow and hatch outside of your body. It's a miracle that they can take those tiny, microscopic lives, and place them in their new home. It's a miracle if they implant and continue to grow. It's a fucking miracle to take that child home, wrapped in your arms. To be able to hold their tiny, screaming body, searching for it's first breaths of air. Something not everyone is able to experience.

Every step of IVF is a miracle. And for those of us without the luxury or our reproductive organs functioning properly, we thank God every day that we live in a world that knows how to do this for us. Whether we're religious and have our own doubts and concerns, or truly see IVF as a gift. We're thankful that our state covers all costs of IVF so that we don't go broke trying to have a child of our own. (Something the country and states should consider: covering adoption 100% for those who qualify, giving even more options to us infertile folks.)

I'm thankful that I have the most amazing love of a man who never gives up on me, or us. A man who sits by my side as we lose our first child. A man who holds me for months after, while we mourn our loss. A man who's never given up on the chance of having a child of our own. A man who fears having multiples more than anything, yet agrees to whatever I feel is right. (Make mine a double, right Hunny?) A man who backs down when he knows I'm hopped up on hormones, and don't really know what I'm saying. He hugs me, and loves me, and kisses me and tells me I'm beautiful every day. The only person who can look me in the eye, and know exactly what I'm thinking.

Today I am thankful. And hopeful.

How to Relieve Stress

Having been through this whole cycle of IVF before, I feel like I know what to expect. The first round taught me to expect the unexpected. There are so many steps to getting to a transfer that you really can't get ahead of yourself. Or get discouraged if one step fails. Most couples go into IVF thinking this is the answer, and that the first round will prove to be successful.

Well we all know how that ended for us.

Something you may neglect to realize, is just how stressful this is all is on your body. A dear friend recently told me "Women going through IVF are just as stressed as if they were fighting cancer." I know I've shared this before, but I think it's important for everyone to realize. Stress plays a huge role in your health. So for all my ladies going through IVF right now with me, what are you doing to relieve your stress?

Yoga?

Meditation?

Working out?

Acupuncture?

Massage?

My mother in law recently filled me in on a juicy secret. There's a massage therapy company located in Clinton, Holden and Marlboro called Escape Massage Centers! You can sign up for a monthly membership for $45 per month, and get a 60 min massage once a month. So I scheduled one for myself for tomorrow to try it out. I was hesitant since I'm currently making multiple eggs and have been taking it easy. But the owner emailed me back with this:

_____________________________________________________

Yes massage is fine and even helpful to improve fertility if done in a circulatory manner.  Here is an excerpt for you:

Fertility massage is recommended for all women, especially if you have fertility problems or suffer from stress. Fertility massage has been proven beneficial to solve a few reproductive system problems such as:

• Endometriosis
• Twisted fallopian tubes
• Irregular ovulation
• Amenorrhea or the lack of menstrual cycle, which is linked to the lack of ovulation
• Pelvic adhesions
• Blocked fallopian tubes

If your fertility problems are idiopathic, the massage may help you conceive, as the fertility massage drives the blood to the reproductive organs and the blood carries fresh oxygen, which can be beneficial for fertility.

Also, the massage relieves stress. Stress is considered a fertility inhibitor, so the massage may only be helpful. The fertility massage can also help to relive constipation, which can affect fertility. The feces in the bowels will gather and press on the reproductive organs, so the fertilization may not take place.

The fertility massage therapy may be a treatment per se, but it is often combined with other fertility treatments such as the in vitro fertilization. The fertility massage has been linked to a higher success rate of fertility cycles.

Read more

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I will say I haven't felt entirely stressful this time around. But I'm really good at fooling myself. Working full time has added the most stress. The first time I was only working part time at our family's business, so I had the luxury of taking time when I needed it. I was 20 lbs lighter, working out like crazy, and super healthy. 

This time....not so much. But I will say mentally, I feel much stronger. I know I have no control over what will happen, and I've been dealing with that by focusing on what I can control. Like work. Like eating well. Working out lightly. And treating myself to a massage! 

But my fingers are still crossed, and I'm still praying like crazy. Until I hear back this afternoon about the blood and US this morning, that's about all I can do. US tech did say I had about 7-9 decent sized follicles and a whole bunch of little ones. We shall see!

Every Day is Different

One of the hardest things I've found this round, is how inconsistent my side effects are. Yesterday morning I was wired. Couldn't stop moving. Couldn't sit still. Racing through the morning. Today however, I feel like I got hit by a truck. I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to hide under the covers until at least noon.

Is this how moms feel?

Never enough sleep?

Exhausted all day?

Wanting to lock your bedroom door and hide in bed all day?

Becoming a mom will be a huge shock to me. This much I know. I love sleep. Each night consists of anywhere from 8 to 10 hours. I'm not kidding. I don't function unless I get at the very least 8 hours. So how am I going to handle a newborn that's up every couple of hours? And what if we have multiples?! Lord, help me!

You'd think after 4 years of trying to conceive, I would have accepted all these things. But I haven't. I still worry how I'll function. I still worry about money. I worry about not being able to stay home with my kids. (Something I know a lot of parents struggle with.) Will I want to be home all day with my kids? Alone....all day?

As awful as I feel saying that out loud, I'm guessing I'm not alone. How do you keep your sanity? Do you find working helps? Do you struggle to leave for work every morning, kissing your kids goodbye?

So much for not getting ahead of myself.

I have a secret......and a cyst.

Remember me? Yes I've deserted you for far too long. We've spent months contemplating what to do, and what to try next. After months of discussions and hopeful prayers that Napro would be the answer, we've thrown up our white flag. It was not a decision we came to lightly or quickly. I've been keeping it a secret and I'd first like to apologize.

The journey to conceive has been a long bumpy one for us. In choosing to blog, I've stripped myself from all elements of surprise for both family and friends. Something I was hoping to preserve this time around. I have this serious issue with keeping my mouth shut though. With that said, this has been a long awaited post.

No, I'm not pregnant.

But I hope to be soon!

We've gone back to IVF. We have our reasons, all of which I was questioning from the moment we began discussing it again. Until we had some updated testing done, which just confirmed the fact that we made the right choice. Although hubby's numbers have tested significantly improved in January, they have since dropped again.

So here we are. Round 2 of IVF.

I started Lupron injections about 2 weeks ago. And of course, I had a cyst. Normally when you are on Lupron, your ovaries are calm and not producing estrogen. Mine however have always had a mind of there own. So I was not surprised at my first blood work and ultrasound to discover I had a cyst, consistently producing estrogen. So 4 days later they tested again. And sure enough, that sucker was still there causing problems. Most docs will not move forward to the stimulation meds if you have a cyst. Cysts tend to suck up most of the meds, continue to grow, and hinder any development of other follicles. Major problem child.

My doctor is pretty proactive, and recommended a cyst aspiration. So last Friday, I went in, and they drained the darn thing. Small surgical procedure that went perfectly smooth. Went back in on Saturday for another round of blood and ultrasound. Cyst was gone. Estrogen had dropped. Yay!

Saturday evening began stimulation meds, Gonal F to be exact. I've apparently already started creating follicles on my own, 4 on the right, and 7 on the left. Go ovaries! Now with the Gonal F, hopefully a few more will pop up and create some healthy mature eggs.

Next check in is Wed morning. More blood and another ultrasound. Crossing my fingers these eggs form properly and abundantly. Gonal F can last anywhere from 7 days to 14. Next step will be egg retrieval.

My goal this time around is to focus on each step. Attempt to not get ahead of myself. Let my body do it's "thang" and pray all goes well. So far, the Lupron has made me super tired. At one point I was napping in my car on my lunch breaks. No joke. I've woken up pretty sweaty a few times, seems to have passed. And recently, the constipation has set in. TMI? Oh the joys of IVF.

I hope you'll join me on this roller coaster ride!


Gosh it feels good to write again.......