One of the most difficult parts of dealing with infertility, is listening to everyone else tell you their pregnant. No matter how happy you want to be for the person telling you, there's a little piece of you screaming inside.
We attended a house warming this past weekend for a college friend. Standing in their beautifully finished basement mingling with some people we didn't know, in walks another couple. She was glowing, wrapped in a chocolate brown shrug and leggings. She unwraps the shrug to reveal a 4 month baby bump. I have never met this girl in my life, but I am instantly crushed. I fake a believable smile and say congratulations. Her cheerful husband than states the one line that's like a stake in a vampires heart "it only took one month!".
I some how managed to listen to them discuss their excitement, the names they picked out, how quickly it happened, blah blah blah. I last about 5 minutes. My husband continuously looking in my direction every 30 seconds to be sure I wasn't going to break down. I finally eloquently pull myself away from the conversation, my husband right behind. Quick to give me a squeeze and ensure I'm okay.
I can't express how wonderful he has been to me. I know this is hard on him too, but he continuously surprises me. We were sitting alone in our room the other day, tears in my eyes blubbering "it isn't fair". He replies "Nothings fair. But do you think any couple is as lucky as we are? Who has the relationship we do?" That man is my heart.