One of the most difficult parts of dealing with infertility, is listening to everyone else tell you their pregnant. No matter how happy you want to be for the person telling you, there's a little piece of you screaming inside.
We attended a house warming this past weekend for a college friend. Standing in their beautifully finished basement mingling with some people we didn't know, in walks another couple. She was glowing, wrapped in a chocolate brown shrug and leggings. She unwraps the shrug to reveal a 4 month baby bump. I have never met this girl in my life, but I am instantly crushed. I fake a believable smile and say congratulations. Her cheerful husband than states the one line that's like a stake in a vampires heart "it only took one month!".
I some how managed to listen to them discuss their excitement, the names they picked out, how quickly it happened, blah blah blah. I last about 5 minutes. My husband continuously looking in my direction every 30 seconds to be sure I wasn't going to break down. I finally eloquently pull myself away from the conversation, my husband right behind. Quick to give me a squeeze and ensure I'm okay.
I can't express how wonderful he has been to me. I know this is hard on him too, but he continuously surprises me. We were sitting alone in our room the other day, tears in my eyes blubbering "it isn't fair". He replies "Nothings fair. But do you think any couple is as lucky as we are? Who has the relationship we do?" That man is my heart.
He definitely sounds like a keeper. You are so very lucky to have a loving, considerate spouse. I'm glad you have each other to lean on.
ReplyDeleteGive Chris a hug for me for taking such great care of my sister! I know it's so hard to hear about others, see other people pregnant, and all the kids everyewhere. I remember. But it will happen. And then you will look back on these days while running around chasing your little pumpkins and you will hardly remember the pain, because you are just so filled with love for you kids. Hang in there, it'll happen (even though waiting sucks!)
ReplyDeleteAs someone who has never struggled with fertility, it is good to hear the opposite point of view. It's hard to remember when you are expecting that not everyone on the entire planet cares or wants to hear all about it! This will help me next time to hopefully be more considerate (I can totally see myself in the woman with the 4 month baby bump.....)
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for your kind words.
ReplyDeleteSara: never feel ashamed for being excited about your little miracle. I'm sure I'll be acting the same way when I'm finally pregnant. ;)
In the mean time, I agree with Chris -- you guys are such a great couple. I'm always telling Tom it's so clear how much you love each other -- and you'll get through this together :) xox
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