Thursday, April 11, 2013

How Long to Wait for Round #2?

Having been so forthcoming on our fertility issues, it has opened the door for some pretty bold questions. Most of which don't bother me in the slightest. And to be honest, this one didn't either. It did however start a long debate that hubby and I are still having.

Are you going to use any protection after?

How long do you plan to wait for baby #2?

Both questions are personal, let's just put that out there first. But both are completely valid questions. When you struggle to get pregnant the first time, you want to savor every single moment with this child. The last thing on my mind was how long will we wait for round 2. Nor did I think people would be so bold as to ask when the second one will be popping out. But they have, so I've been thinking.

How long should you wait? Most doctors have told us not to wait long. Once your body is in "baby making mode", which lasts somewhere around a year or two, if you hope to conceive naturally, that's the best time to try. Even if you've struggled to conceive with round 1, round 2 could be super easy at that point. Now I'm not saying that will be the case for everyone, but there's a good chance it could be.

So what's a girl to do? Hubby and I have been discussing, and the best I could come up with was "Give me 6 months, at least". Meaning, don't even think about "trying" for round 2 until baby girl is at least 6 months old. The tough part with that request is that I refuse to go on the pill, E-V-E-R again. Which leaves limited options. Thankfully, this is where the charting from NaPro will come in handy. But still, not so easy to track if I'm lucky enough to breastfeed.

But if I'm being honest, I really don't know if I'll be ready for round 2 so quickly. I miss working out. I miss going to Bikram yoga. I miss my skinny jeans. All selfish excuses, I know. But the one thing I've been trying to maintain, or hope to maintain, is a balance between caring for my child, and caring for myself. I have no idea how that will work out, especially hearing from so many moms how difficult that balance really is. I'm a planner, so believe me when I say I've been thinking about all of these things. Which nights hubby will go to the gym, which nights I can go to yoga. But who am I kidding? This baby will be controlling most things. I can make all the plans in the world, but I'm guessing 90% of them, won't happen.

Then there's the age gap issue. I grew up with two sisters, all 3 of us very close in age. Hubby grew up with a 7 year younger sibling. Both have their benefits, and I like many parts of each. But our fertility concerns come first, unfortunately. Do I want to have to go through IVF again because we waited too long? Not really. Do I hope we conceive naturally next time? Hell yes. But if that means starting to try again before I'm ready, I'm not sure.

All I know is, right now, I'm enjoying being pregnant. And I don't have an answer to either of those questions. So be advised.

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