Monday, October 24, 2011

(Not my) Dirty 30

Over the past year, I have been meeting up with some friends from home once a month. The four of us are kind of a mish-mosh of friends that some how remained close that got close as the years went on. We span from the NH sea coast, to central MA. Although most would think a 90 min drive would keep us apart, not this group, we always make time. Our monthly girl's night has gotten us through break-ups, job loss, family deaths, friends passing, new homes, new jobs, miscarriage, and all of those quintessential growing up landmarks.

These ladies keep me sane.

This weekend, we celebrated our first 30th birthday. A milestone if you ask me. We managed to keep the weekend a surprise until the moment she opened the door. Although fear filled her face when she did open it to a dark hotel room filled with people, made her believe she was in the wrong place. She soon realized it was the faces of friends and family. 

The birthday princess.

It was a huge success filled with laughs, tears, hikes, swims, shopping, and of course drinks. Yours truly kept the drinking at bay. Seeing as hubby and I used this month to its fullest capacity, my hope is there's a little embryo in there trying to stick. Therefore drinking wasn't really an option. (I did indulge in a couple white wine spritzers, which I'm pretty sure made me look like a huge wuss.) But future baby is far more important. 

One of the most difficult parts of infertility, is answering the question "do you have children?" to people you haven't seen in years or are just meeting you for the first time. What's the appropriate response? You don't want to make anyone feel bad and seem like a turbo bitch, but the question alone is like taking a dagger to the heart. I've found just smiling and saying "Not yet." is usually the best way to go. Then if the conversation leads there, or they become super nosey, you can expand. But once you tell someone, they look at your differently. You can always see that slight pang of pity in their eye.

Managed to find a playground.

Hubby liked the tire swing too.
Then he got stuck.

Which leads me to today. I'm pretty sure I'm not pregnant. I've had mild cramps, nothing like last time. I've also had constant mucus, which probably means I have an ovarian cyst. I did have one wave of nausea this morning, but that usually happens from postnasal drip which has over taken my body, along with being super hungry in the am. I'm not terribly surprised to be honest. I've gotten to the point where I'm doubting this will actually happen naturally. Sad to say, I've even stopped eating pristinely and haven't worked out that much, in hopes it may help. Who knows, maybe next week I'll finally see that 2nd dark pink line. 

(I already have a child.)

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