Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Selfish or Ensuring your own happiness?

I'm the youngest of three girls. For my entire life, I have been told I'm spoiled, I guess it comes with being the youngest. When I was little, my parents would always say how easy going I was. My husband will now argue that that is definitely not the case, and I have to agree with him.

I've also been called selfish. Which I'm proud to say I am. (Hear me out.) I think a lot of the time we confuse selfishness with just trying to be happy. Is there a difference between the two? I don't think so. For most of my life, I had gone along with what other people wanted. I never put up a fuss or stated what I was really thinking. My freshman year of college, attending a university where I knew no one, I started fresh. I began speaking up for myself and at times, I'm sure my friends would say I was brutally honest. It wasn't until I started a sorority my junior year of college and began having to be diplomatic that I realized there's a delicate tact to being honest. I remember being at a meeting and completely losing my temper. I just got to the point that I was so frustrated with trying to please someone else, or not hurt their feelings, that the honesty just boiled up and exploded. I immediately regretted it. It was from that day on that I vowed to myself to be honest, but kind.

So why is being selfish good, you're probably asking.....I think a better way to word it is "living for yourself". But seriously, they are the same thing. Living for yourself allows you to follow what you think is best, instead of going along with what everyone else wants. No one else can supply you with your own happiness. So my 2012 resolution is to be more selfish. I've lost bits of myself over the last 3 years focusing on getting pregnant and maintaining the perfect health. Pieces of me lost that allowed me to be healthy, allowed me to de-stress. Pieces that I need back. And whether or not I get pregnant, I can't keep planning on it happening. I need to live for myself. I need to make better choices when it comes to eating and make more of an effort to be active. I need to be selfish and not indulge in whatever my husband can eat. We have very different genes, mine being the fat, his being the "burn everything that enters". I need to put my needs first.

I challenge all of you to take time each day for yourself. There's a lot of moms I know that seem to forget to do that. Whether it's not finding the time to put on make-up, or shower every, or take 30 mins to read a book, go for a walk, or sip a glass of wine all alone. Whatever it is that makes you you, take time to do it. Be selfish. Start small, maybe just 10 mins a day to stretch, or learn a new yoga move. Your kids may drive you crazy, or your husband may keep asking about dinner. Tell them it's "me time", and use a small amount of your day to bask in the small things that make you special. It will help lower your stress levels and remind you of everything to be thankful for.

Being selfish isn't a bad thing, as long as it's not all the time. Find the happy balance so you can be a happier you.

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