Friday, November 4, 2011

Things you should never say

I've wanted to post these for a long time. However, I've held back knowing that it will probably insult some people that are the culprits. Please don't take offense, learn from your mistakes. :)

Most of the time, people just don't know what to say to you when they hear you're infertile or seeking infertility assistance. Although most people have been, and continue to be, very kind and sensitive (especially when I was hopped up on hormones, which I thank each and every one of you), there's always that one person who trips up over their own words, or really has no clue what to say and what not to say.

Shame on you!

So for those of you who wonder what you really shouldn't say, here's my list of favorites that have actually been said to me:

#1 I wish you were pregnant at the same time as me so we could raise our kids together.
You do? So do I. But what in your right mind, made you think this was a good thing to say while I'm attempting to make it through your baby shower without breaking down?

#2 Don't be one of those people who has an only child.
Hmmm, if I could control that, I would. But seeing as I'll be lucky to have just one, maybe that isn't the best thing to say.

Considering wearing this around.

#3 You'll be a great mom some day.
Thank you. Most of the time this one is warm welcomed. However there are days when it just hurts. It's very easy to lose faith, and on those days, this is like taking a stake to the heart.

1 in 10 people!!! 

#4 Stop trying so hard, it will happen when it's supposed to.
Really, is that how that works? So if we stop having sex all the time, I'll be like the Virgin Mary and miraculously get pregnant? Why didn't someone tell me that sooner!

#5 You're going to end up with multiples, IVF always does.
You obviously know nothing about the process, nor the odds in that happening. To be honest, IUI causes more multiples than IVF does. Never mind the fact that we modestly only inseminated 1 embaby. And it's really none of your business how many kids we end up with.

#6 Your decision to pursue IVF implies that you have a scientific attitude toward the creation of life. 
Actually it doesn't. And if you are one of the many blessed enough to become pregnant naturally, you should never make statements about other's choices. You have no idea what they are going through, or their reason for choosing IVF.

If we turn back to IVF, our kid will proudly be sporting one of these.

#7 You can always adopt.
What?! There are children in the world in need of good homes? If it's so easy, why haven't you done it? Oh that's right, you can get pregnant naturally. Therefore you can ignore all the children in need of good homes. That only applies to gay, lesbians, and the infertile. (What is wrong with people?!)

#8 Why do you even want to have kids?! 
I don't even have a response for that one. Either you're a kid person, or you're not. Respect people's choices.

I have a feeling I'll be posting another one of these in the future.

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