Friday, September 2, 2011

Hiking is Healing

Seven years ago hubby, my then boyfriend and I went backpacking through the White Mountains. The three of us, yes, just the three of us. My husband's girlfriend at the time couldn't make it, and he didn't want to miss the trip. So the three of us went. We followed the Appalachian Trail up Madison, peaked Adams, Jefferson, Clay and Washington. We hiked for three days and camped in the woods for two nights. It was quite the experience. We ended up getting lost the second day and spent 2-3 hours bush whacking to get back to the trail, never mind having to sleep above tree line on Clay because the sun was pretty much gone by the time we got there. It was some what of a disaster. 

So why have I agreed to do this again? This is why:
Appalachian Trail Lafayette & Lincoln 2006

That trip marked the day I realized I was dating the wrong guy. As we were climbing up Washington at 7am in the sleet and rain with my heels profusely bleeding, my boyfriend was hightailing it up the mountain. I was trying to be cautious with each step I took, so I wasn't moving very fast. I turned around to find Chris (my now husband) right behind me with one hand on my pack to keep me from slipping or falling. Boyfriend speeding ahead, friend holding my pack. What's wrong with this picture? Needless to say that relationship didn't last and I happily ended up with Chris. (Best decision I've ever made.) 
Top of Lafayette 2006

So it's been 8 years since that trip and it's the eve of our next adventure. Hubby requested for his birthday that we start hiking again.We had taken a break for awhile, not being able to find the time or money for the gear. It's so damn expensive! We've finally had the time and the funds so we spent the last month acquiring the appropriate gear and have done a few trial runs. Including Mount Osceola & East Osceola last weekend.
Top of Monadnoc Labor Day 2010

Tomorrow we are venturing out for our official first backpacking trip together. And yet again, it's me and two guys. (Still attempting to convince the other female of the group to join.) As the moments tick by at work, I can't help but think how fortunate I am to be able to do these things. There are so many people in this world afraid to try, or take a chance. They just sit back and watch everyone else take the risks. 
Alpine Adventures Zipline Tour Lincoln, NH 2010

I vowed a long time ago to not be that person. I vowed to be proactive and enjoy every moment. Life is short, too short. So why sit back and let everyone else have the fun? Screw that, if I want to do something, I do it. There are a lot of things I regret, but the one thing I don't, was taking a chance on a relationship with a friend. And he has turned out to be the best risk I ever took. He pushes me and challenges me every day. We may bicker and drive each other to the brink of insanity, but he is my best friend. And I wouldn't want anyone else by my side this weekend. 
It must be love.

Hiking is healing for me. It's one of those odd things my body was made for. When we started trying to have a family I stopped hiking. I've been afraid to push myself too far in hopes there is a little person budding inside of me. I'm done waiting. This trip is allowing me to live again, regain some sanity. Take my mind off the child factor and focus on my strengths and abilities. Focus on things I can control in hopes of letting go of the things I can't. I'm just praying the rain holds out.

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