Monday, April 25, 2011

What? again?

So my impatience made me stumble and pee on a couple sticks prior to the bloodwork. About 10 days after the transfer I started to see a light, thick blue line on two tests. I composed myself and waited until the day before the blood test to test again. Not wanting to see any fake indications, I used a digital. Not Pregnant. I tried to remain calm and tell myself that those things take more than the normal to register.

Having started a new job a the week before, (hence the long brake between posts), I crawled out of bed extra early so I wouldn't miss any time. Thankfully my new job is at the same company as my hubby. (Which we are enjoying.) I got the call about 10 mins after he left for lunch from the nurse. Negative. I managed to keep the tears at bay and kept working. How, I don't know. I left for lunch about 10 mins later, not the slightest bit hungary. Waited for hubby to get back. I finally track him down, and just the sight of him, I began crying. We took a good 5-10 mins, pulled ourselves together and decided it's time for NaPro.

I called Dr. C that day and we are scheduled for May 24th. We are praying that he can determine what the issue is. Having had chemcial pregnancies before, I'm guessing that's what happened yet again. Having no frozen embryos left, we didn't have many options. To be honest, I do not want to go through IVF again. I want to know what the problem is.

Of course all this bad news came the day before my birthday. 28. Fun. 28 and still no kids. I know, I'm young, I have time. I'm getting tired of hearing that though. It's been 2.5 years since we started trying. Enough already. Because my job has me working full time again, agh, I've had no time to really sit and think about everything. I found myself home alone on Thursday night and got caught up with One Tree Hill. Yes I still watch that show. The birth of the babies had me sobbing like a blubbering idiot. I peeled myself off the couch and started making dinner, still crying. Hubby comes home. Still crying. We poured ourselves a glass of wine, and had a nice long chat about what we both wanted to do. We are keeping the appointment with Dr. C. If for some reason that doesn't help, then who knows. I just know that the waiting is really starting to get to me.


  1. So sorry this has been such a bumpy road for you both!! We are thinking of you always and love you both very much!!! Wishing you all the best!! xoxox

  2. aaahhh...sucky news hun...i was hoping it would work this time...dont worry about the age part...i felt the same way at 28, and now im 30...maybe your bod just isnt ready way or another, i think about you daily...God must have some sort of plan, cause its obvious that you have alot of people talking to him for you...i will have a word with him tonight...maybe im just not speaking loudly enough :) do your best to keep your head up sweetie...Maybe your body just needs some sunshine, a little vitamin d? the sun is making an appearance again, and maybe with a little warmth will come either an answer or at least some peace of mind...maybe your body just doesnt want to be preggers till it gets warmer out :) keep the faith babe...things will work out :) lots of love to you on your journey