If there's one thing I've learned, life is a world of gray; there's simply no black and white. Contradictions is what makes us individuals, our thoughts, ideas and beliefs makes us unique. Whether you believe in mine or not, I simply don't care. This blog is for support, for myself and anyone going through IVF. The decisions that I have made, that WE have made, have not been made lightly. So I ask that they, at the very least, be respected, which this person has failed to do.
I have decided to share with all of you parts of the email. I was going to refrain, but after much debate, I feel inclined to share it. After all, I welcome all opinions, both positive and negative.
Please keep in mind that this was sent by a family member that is currently pregnant who works for a pharmaceutical company.
"Given this nod toward supporting the greater good, would it not be socially responsible of you to invest resources (time, energy, money, emotion) into an existing child via adoption rather than sinking resources into the forced creation of a biological child?"
"You talk of a deep need to be a mother, so wouldn’t you be inclined to parent any child in need of a family? Your decision to use IVF implies that you are pursuing pregnancy for yourself first and foremost."
"Perhaps you should not feel so bad about the miscarriage. Your decision to pursue IVF implies that you have a scientific attitude toward the creation of life. That you would intervene to mechanically create an embryo outside of the womb and suspend the development of that embryo (via freezing) suggests that you see the embryo as a means to an end and not a life in and of itself. Thus, you lost the precursor to a life, a collection of divided cells, but not a baby, not even a fetus. Maybe you felt disappointment that you could not sustain the pregnancy, but you do not mourn the loss of a life."
"You may want to implant the second embryo as an assurance that at least one will survive, but a mother would be less self-serving and choose to implant only one, if use IVF all. "
My response: Please don't think you truly know me, by simply reading my blog.