Easter Recap

For those of us struggling to conceive, the thought of surviving another holiday can spark a major panic attack. And if Easter came about a month ago, I would have been right there with you. Thankfully it was on Sunday, and I'm in a better place than March. Or was it because of the yummy sushi tray we split with friends Friday night.......

Can't enjoy sushi if you're preggers. Ha ha to my pregnant friends. 

(We have to have some benefits, right?)

Saturday went by way too fast, and I woke up Sunday morning exhausted. But family brunch awaited, so we packed up and headed to NH. I come from a family (you'd think we were Italian), that love to feed people. We expect you to eat, and we put out waaaaaay too much food. (We all do it, it's a family thing.) My mother is an amazing cook, it's one of the reasons I deeply regret going vegan (or find myself cheating, only dairy I swear)! But being the only vegetarian/vegan couple, we struggle at family gatherings. I am one lucky gal though, my supportive family always have something specific they know we can eat. 

So what did we enjoy? I had brought a Vegan Broccoli Quiche, and Mom had a huge selection of fresh fruit. So I piled up my plate and devoured every last bite with a big glass of cran/raspberry/pineapple/orange juice. Yum!

And all the kiddos were there....

Complete with party dress and headband.

The older boys enjoyed their egg hunt, 

which was apparently more difficult this year 

seeing as they can all count.

Even Teddy was included.

How can you deny that face?!

And what's a family holiday party without a little nudity?

Who me?

I know what you're thinking, how can you take a break after looking at those little munchkins? Trust me, it's a struggle. I'm actually starting to believe that the Letrozole was making me angry. It blocks estrogen production, so I guess that makes sense. I also felt as though it was making me depressed. This week having not taken it, I feel like myself again. I'm slowly getting back my drive to work out. Last week I even over did it by taking a bootcamp class that left me limping for 5 days. Yet I am going back tonight. (Narcissist?) Slowly, each day, I'm starting to feel better. Hopefully this weekend away with my lady friends will contribute to the mending as well. 2.5 more days......

So long Naltrexone

So I'm not sure if the Low Dose Naltrexone thought it would be a good idea to start preparing me for an infant (no, I'm not pregnant) or this is just some sick joke. But for the past 4 nights, I have woken wide-eyed at 2am, and 4 am, and 6am..... I figured Friday night was from Hubby being away, which I usually don't sleep well when he's not beside me. Sat was ok and the time change definitely helped a bit, but Sunday and Monday night were awful. I woke up last night at 2am and could not fall back to sleep. Makes sense though. The Naltrexone stops production of endorphins for several hours, then kicks them back up about 4 hours later. Going to bed at 11, waking up at 2, see where I'm going with this?

So tonight, it's so long Naltrexone. I'm guessing this is happening now because my system has finally started working properly. And if that's the case, the pause in endorphin making has probably helped me sleep, but the ramping up of them in the middle of the night, has now become over load. Dr. C said it would be about 6 months before I saw any improvement. Although it has been around 5, I'm taking this as a sign it's time to stop. Crossing my fingers that this is the answer and I can finally get some sleep tonight.

On a side note, we leave Saturday for a week up in Stowe, VT. Yes, this will be our third trip up to Trapp Family Lodge in 14 months. (Got to love parents with a timeshare.) Our first time was a week for our anniversary last year. September/October in VT is heaven.

We rarely have time to just relax. Between work, gym, classes, weekend family gatherings, etc, we don't have a lot of down time. The beauty of Vermont: slow pace. It's one of the only times I feel calm. Mornings are filled with yoga, hot tub, sauna, smoothies and a shower.

Followed by a hike, lunch at the brewery, maybe a nap. Then dinner, wine and a puzzle. Yes, I said puzzle.

Don't judge. There's nothing like taking your mind off the world and focusing on something as petty as a puzzle. Finding which tiny piece fits with another tiny piece. Try it. It works.

This month, we are yet again, trying the Letrozole. Menstral flow was a little better this month, and the past 3 days have been dry. (Have yet to have that happen, it's a good thing.) I'm hoping this means my egg won't ovulate prematurely. I have this gut wrenching feeling lately that my left ovary, the mischievous one, has only been creating cysts, and not releasing an egg. This month I believe is the right ovaries turn. Praying things go well and we have some luck. And being away during the week of that happening can only help.

So please say a prayer, cross your fingers, toes and anything else you can. This is the last month before we move on to other means. And I'm really hoping we don't have to. Vermont brought us luck last time. Maybe it will again.