The "M" Word

I am happy to report I am not pregnant. Nor have I miscarried. This post could have been a lot different. Thankfully, it's not. Sunday, with no sign of my period insight, and 15 days post peak, I decided to test. Light blue line. Awesome. I get that pretty much every time I test. Fast forward to Monday morning. Wake up bleeding. Good thing I didn't get excited.

You may want to stop reading if you have a weak stomach. If not, you've been warned...

While at work on Monday, I excused myself to the restroom to find 2, not just 1, but 2 pieces of tissue on my pad. I have only ever had this happen one other time. I didn't freak out, surprisingly. I stayed calm, and called Dr. C. He was alarmed and ask me to save it, and come in that night for blood work and pathology on the tissue. So I left work early, yet again, and headed to his office. Picked up the paper work and headed straight to the lab.

Yesterday on my drive home, I got a call from his nurse. She had the tone of voice where you could just tell she felt bad about what she had to say, the sympathy tone. She said my hcg was .7 but they didn't have the results from the tissue. They would know in a few days and call me. From what she explained, it sounded like she was telling me that I was miscarrying. Usually anything over .5 is considered a positive. So I braced myself for bad news.

Today, on my way back from lunch with Hubby, I realized I had a voicemail. It was Dr. C. Got to love this man, he leaves long, detailed messages, so that there's no confusion in what he's telling you. I did not miscarry. There was no indication of conception in the tissue and the blood work apparently didn't show any trace of pregnancy. Thank the Lord!

Normally I have been having 4-5 days of brown spotting. When that never came and the bright red did, I got nervous. I haven't had a "normal" period in.......I don't know how long. So all this was, was a healthy happy period.

Things can always be worse. I'm just happy to say that it wasn't another "m" word.

Smoothies & Vertigo....yes you read that correctly.

I've always thought vertigo was something that people who liked to complain, got. "Oh my vertigo....every thing's spinning....whine, whine, whine...." It was something relative to being a little dizzy. No big deal.

I am completely wrong, and I'll be the first to admit it. When the room starts spinning and you haven't had an ounce to drink, you'd be convinced too. Vertigo is not fun. One minute you are perfectly fine, seeing clearly, and the next the earth is moving all around you and you feel like you're on rough seas. To top it all off, mine is heightened with anxiety. I went to a friend's open house this weekend, walked in the door and BAM...vertigo. Thankfully it isn't too bad, but along with everything moving, my adrenaline started racing. Heart speeds up, and things start looking a little hazy. Awesome. Therefore no need to drink, I already felt drunk. And that's really the best way to describe it. It's like when you're on the verge of blacking out for an overly indulgent night of martinis, and you're laying in bed with one foot on the ground.

Thankfully I'm told this will pass....in about 3-6 weeks. Great. So what do I do in the meantime? Not drink. Check, haven't in months. Not drive terribly far. (Heard a horror story from a good friend who's launched while driving and blacked out.) Trying to stay away from big groups or parties where my anxiety kicks in.

So if I become a hermit, you know why.

Moving on.....

So I have been promising my shake recipe, which I outlined last post. But I thought I'd include some photos and actual measurements for my "cooking/making anything inclined" readers. Here goes...


Berry Smoothie
1 frozen banana
1 large leaf of kale
1 cup frozen berries
4 chunks mango (optional)
1/2 cup POM juice
1/2 cup Green Goodness by Bolthouse Farms
1.5 cups coconut milk
2 T hemp protein (not shown, optional)




Place in blender in the order of ingredients listed, frozen items at the bottom along with the kale leaf so that they blend well. Pulse on Ice Crush mode about 10 times. Then set on liquefy.



Finished product is on the right. Should be dark violet in color. If the frozen items make the shake too thick, add another 1/2 cup of coconut milk. Makes 2 adult servings.

I'll continue to upload recipes for anyone interested.

Docs, Food, 5am Workouts

My life revolves around doctors appointments, to the point where my boss rolls his eyes when I say I have another one. (Not in anger, more in sympathy.) This one is however unrelated to fertility. I can't remember the last time I had a day free of nose running. That may sound silly to some people, but literally my nose runs all day, every day, for any and all reasons. Over that past two weeks two other things have started as well. About once a week, about an hour or two after lunch, my face feels like it's on fire. My whole body temp raises, and peaks for about an hour. On top of that, the last two weeks I've been lightheaded and dizzy, which has slowly escalated every day. To the point where on Tuesday, I was sitting at my desk when the room started to spin. Literally spin. I thought I was going down. I didn't have tunnel vision and my ears didn't start ringing, but I was close to passing out.

I called Dr. C's office today to see if this has anything to do with the pycnogenol or peroxicam. He seems to think not. Instead he believes I either have a chronic sinus infection and or debris in my ears. Awesome. Now what? He recommended contacting an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor, which I did. But because I have an HMO, I need a referral from my PCP. So I call his office, he wants to see me before he'll refer. Great. Another appointment, tomorrow morning and possibly another one next week. In the meantime, the world is fuzzy.

Good news? I have been getting my ass up at the crack of dawn, 5am, and heading to the gym. Yup, I'm doing it. I'm not happy about it, but I'm doing it. I fall asleep around 9pm (yes I'm an old lady now), and waking up at 5, throwing on some clothes, wash face, brush teeth, out the door. I must admit, I feel great. Not because I'm working out, necessarily. More so that my appetite has increased. For the longest time, I've had no appetite, I've simply eaten because I know I need to. Which in turn has caused my stomach to not realize when it's full, thus the weight gain. So now that my AM's are filled with 30mins of cardio and or weights, I'm starving by 7:30. I highly recommend for anyone who is remotely tired during the day, or can't find the time to work out, get up early! It's the best way to start your day. I'm happier, I eat better, and I'm no longer dragging through my day. (I won't lie tho, turning off the alarm is tempting every morning. 90 days to create a habit, right?)

And for those of you looking for food suggestions. Here's what my day consists of:

Morning Shake: makes 2 large shakes, or share with up to 4 kids, trust me they'll love it
1 banana
1 1/2 cups frozen mixed berries
1 large kale leaf
2 T hemp protein powder
1 cup Green Goodness by Bolthouse Farms
1 cup POM juice
1 1/2 cups Coconut Milk Unsweetened

Snack: something small around 10-10:30
Coconut Milk Yogurt


Lunch: 12:30
Homemade Vegan Chili, 1 cup
Garden Salad, medium sized with tons of veggies
Kettle chips, I can't give up chips. (They're my one indulgent now.)

Snack: 3pm
Apple

Dinner: depends on when hubby gets home, usually around 8:30
last night I made iron skillet whole wheat pizza, yes with real cheese, Cabot has several that are lactose free, I indulge in that when I need it, tomatoes, onions and peppers on top, with Newman's Organic tomato sauce. It's to die for!

Beverages throughout the day:
Water with lemon
Tea, caffeine free, loving Traditional Medicinals Eater's Digest, no sweetener

I am currently attempting to cut out sugar. I can feel I'm addicted to it once again. Instead, I eat chips. At least they are made from potatoes, so that's considered a vegetable, right? Oh well.

Pycnogenol & Piroxicam

The last few weeks have been pretty boring. However, this week, I've learned a hell of a lot more knowledge. We had our usual 3 month follow up with Dr C to go over charting and new suggestions. I was not expecting what he had to say. No, I'm not pregnant. Don't get excited. But you should get excited about what I'm going to tell you.

I walked into the appointment with the fear that my body was reverting to a year ago. My charting had been all over the place the last 2-3 cycles. With the understanding that we had a very early miscarriage in December, I've been revolting against charting. I was still keeping track because I know it's important, but I refused to look at it every day or write down each evening. And after seeing that my cycles had been pretty messed up, I had this awful feeling I would be getting bad news. However, on Tuesday, yes Valentine's Day, Dr. C  gave us a glimmer of hope.

He has been following the life's work of an Australian Ob. Don't ask me his name because I can't remember. He had spent his life studying post miscarriage cycles. He had determined that it took the female body 3 months to completely heal. The first cycle never releases an egg. The follicle never ruptures. The second cycle a premature follicle releases. And the third cycle, well I honestly can't remember. We'll get back to that, if I can remember. So how does this affect me? The blood work from December only slightly indicated a miscarriage. But my charting the last 2 months, has been precisely what the Australian Ob's work indicated. We now have confirmation that we definitely miscarried.

I guess that doesn't sound like good news. But it is to me. I finally have proof that these thoughts and feelings aren't fake, but real.  I'm no longer convinced I'm crazy.

Moving on.

So what the hell is Pycnogenol & Piroxicam? Two new things I am taking.
Pycnogenol -an antioxidant plant extract from the bark of the French maritime pine tree, significantly reduces symptoms of endometriosis by 33 percent (bet you didn't know that.)

Piroxicam is an anti-inflammatory that helps boost implantation. Don't believe me, read this.

So what did we find this week? A new found hope.