Last Saturday afternoon, we packed up the car and headed for the Trapp Family Lodge. As we crossed into Vermont on Rt 89, we became blinded by a pretty intense snow storm that left the highway completely covered. We finally arrived an hour later than expected but cozied up by the fire and had a nice huge glass of wine. After all of the losses our family has endured, we needed a nice long break.
It was a relief to not be pregnant actually. Between all the outdoor activities we did, the wine, the shopping, saunas and hot tubs, I would have missed out on most of it. I finally felt like myself again. My mood has improved drastically and I'm enjoying myself again.
On Thursday morning, I woke up to some spotting. I called my doctor's office, knowing that I would soon be getting my second period (the start of round two). To my disappointment, the nurse I spoke with informed me of a change in plans. Apparently the doctor was not too clear in describing the next IVF round. We were under the impression that on my second period, I would have an exam and then begin all the meds. However, now I am being told that the exam would be first, then results would be sent to the insurance for acceptance of the second round. Meaning the meds won't begin until my third period. At this point, I am so thoroughly annoyed, my attitude changes to the poor nurse, and I insist she phones the doctor to be sure.
I receive a call back about an hour later stating my chart was correct, waiting for period number three. This was our last day in Vermont, and after we headed over to Loon Mtn to meet up with some friends. I continued to get pretty drunk the following few days. Time with friends has helped. I am still beyond annoyed with the length of time this is all taking. Never mind the fact that everyone around me is now having their babies. Don't get my wrong, I'm so happy for all my friends and family that are having children. But there's still this little piece of me that feels like it's missing. That little part that is still tugging away at my insides. And the fact that this continues to take longer and longer is the most draining thing I have every experienced.
I know exactly what you're saying. I am screaming and crying right along with you. I am so happy your husband is there with you. It's so very hard without your other half there to support you during all of this. On a bright note, it's REALLY good you're already on a second cycle and they seem to be coming regularly! That means your body is healthy! Hang in there. I'm here if you need to talk.
ReplyDeleteHeather