Friday, January 7, 2011

One Day At a Time....

So I'm pretty sure yesterdays appointment was more of a mental check up. (The doctor wanted to be sure I wasn't hanging from my shower curtain.) I must say, I'm thoroughly impressed with their office. The nurse who took my blood pressure and weight (yikes), felt so bad about what happened she looked like she was about to cry and offered up a hug. Mind you, this was the first time I met her. It seems everyone who finds out is completely sympathetic, especially when they find out we went through IVF.

I drove my butt to hot yoga last night again. The yogi I usually go to was teaching, whom I love by the way. She's the same age and just has this calming voice that keeps you relaxed through the whole class. I was surprisingly able to do most of the moves still, considering I was away for two months. There is nothing like sweating out every emotion to revitalize your body and mind. Moving pretty slow, I was the last to leave. The sweetheart that she is, started making small talk: she asked how my holidays were. For the most part, I am able to control myself with that question. However, not after yoga. Every emotion is brought to the surface, just waiting to bubble over. Which it managed to do. She teared up right along with me, confiding in me that she and her husband are trying as well. Three months, and no luck just yet.

It's amazing how much it takes over your life. Every thought, every cramp, anything and everything makes you think of it. No matter if you are trying the fun way, IUI or IVF, the process of trying to conceive takes over your life. As much as guys try to understand, they never fully get it. Even when they want it as bad as you (talking about a baby), they can't understand what you go through emotionally. I feel like my husband is the exception. He has been a rock, absolutely amazing through this whole process, I couldn't have asked for a better man. He's let me sob, scream, eat, drink (hence the yikes at the weight), he's let me do anything and everything I've needed to to deal with the loss. And that's exactly what it is, a loss. Whether its early or late, it's still an emotional mess that you need to deal with. Which I feel like I am. One day at a time.....


  1. I remember how the tracking and charting with NFP seemed so complicated. And it is definitely something that takes over your life. The stress on both of us was overwhelming. Each month a disappointment. Hang in there and continue to take it one day at a time... love and hugs

  2. Sounds like you have yourself a good hubby. Keep leaning on each other and remember there are so many others in your life that love you.